The Case of Izuku Midoriya
by Whimstories
Summary: *HIATUS FOR REWRITE* Izuku Midoriya, 25 years old and single, applies to the literature department of a Japanese publishing company, expecting a bright future. Instead, he's assigned to the Shoujo Manga Department where he faces a smartass boss, a weird crew of coworkers, and his ex-high school sweetheart; two of which are the same person. OR, A Sekaiichi Hatsukoi AU
1. Days until Izuku Falls in Love

A/N: First Tododeku longfic, lets goo! So this is heavily based on Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, so there will be many familiar plot points though I've tried to deviate as much as I could. The 1st & 2nd chapter will be the most obvious. It was a bit of a challenge tbh, but this is also a guilty pleasure fic because I love the pairing and the manga, so I'll try not to be too hard on myself.

I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Please rip this to bits! Thank you!

**!EDIT!** I'm returning to some chapters before I move forward because it physically pains me to read them lol Most changes are for clarity and flow, with very minor added narrative or altered dialogue that doesn't change the story, so re-reads are unnecessary ;))

* * *

_Milky white skin on tangled sheets, the scent of crisp pine, hair tickling his neck. Stretched in meandering bliss and gripped tight in careful hands. They were so close one breath defined them both. _

_Izuku squeezed the hand interlaced in his and reveled in the pleasing burn in his back. _

_A clock blipped red in the background, another passing minute in the endless heartbeats since Izuku met him. The impossible seconds that led to now. It should've been enough; he should've accepted the small measure of happiness. But he was spoiled and anxious. The words formed before he could think. _

_"I—I was wondering—"_

_"Yeah?" The boy beside him responded, his smile languid and stunning even under flushed skin and beads of sweat. Contentment illuminated in the creases of his smile and carved an impression under Izuku's skin, emboldening his selfish question. _

_"Do you…love me?"_

_Bliss morphed to something wretched and sharp when silence answered. Air no longer ran between them, coursing straight out of Izuku's lungs. The boy he hoped was his lover then snickered behind his hand. _

_Izuku Midoriya refused to believe in happy endings ever again. _

—

(Eight Years Later)

Izuku believed in the phrase 'too good to be true'.

That's not to say he wasn't excited about his first day at Erasure Publishing. He woke up that morning invigorated and refreshed, the sun playing orange tendrils of light on his eyelashes. He fell into his usual morning run, even pushing his legs an extra mile. He had the time and motivation to cook a full Japanese breakfast, his tie was miraculously not crooked as he left the house, and he arrived at the tall corporate building thirty minutes earlier than necessary. Everything seemed brilliant, even the air was crisp and cool with fragrant hints of aging leaves touching his nose.

There was no reason to doubt his new opportunity at a new company to start negatively.

"Eh? I'm assigned to the Shoujo Manga Department?"

Until that moment.

Izuku was sitting in the reception lobby, a long hall with well furnished lounges, posters, and character cut-outs scattered across the structure. Erasure was one of the largest and most successful publishing companies in Japan from its publications of the Gang Orca detective series by Kugo Sakamata or the Best Jeanist fashion craft collection by Tsunagu Hakamata. Izuku nearly sobbed when he was accepted into such a strong firm where he could begin his longtime dream; becoming an acclaimed literature editor.

Now he wanted to sob again for the opposite reason.

The female to break the news sat across from him in a separate armchair and wore a smile as bright as her pink company uniform and matching pink hair. Her gold clipped name tag read Mina Ashido.

"And here's your badge. Oh, your hair and eyes match the department logo, how cute!"

The bright shining name _Emerald_ in bold square font screamed at him like the dazzling gates to Oz City. He was a bit wistful to not own a pair of red shoes for the occasion.

"Ashido," he started. "I don't mean to insult anyone, but, is it possible my application was mixed up with…someone else?"

"Actually, your application was a direct decision by Aizawa; it's right here on your hiring documents." Ashido pointed to the paper on the table between them and slid it so Izuku could take a look. "'To be assigned to Emerald' and underneath are the notes in the interview, your resume, references, etc. Aizawa is very meticulous."

"Right! Of course," he said, giving a polite smile, while internally holding back a bewildered storm of thoughts.

References. His old mentor, Toshinori, was the most prominent name on that list, being head of All Might Publishing. He was good friends with Aizawa, or claimed to be, and Izuku didn't doubt they had a long conversation. Toshinori had praised Erasure Publishing as an elite company for cultivating top authors in the industry and recommended it to Izuku when he insisted on broadening his horizons. He insisted they could teach Izuku what Toshinori knew he lacked.

Now Izuku wondered if Toshinori's tendencies for overzealous conversation backfired during the hiring process.

"I'll show you to your team."Ashido smiled, shaking Izuku from his moping, and lead him to the elevators. She pressed the button for the fourth floor, placing them in the confines of mild awkward elevator music.

"So, ah, what's Emerald like?" Izuku asked.

Ashido's face lit up to a shocking degree. "Who _doesn't _know Emerald? In addition to their record-making sales every quarter, they recently received an award from the CEO. It's honestly an honor to be accepted into the division."

Izuku blinked, wide-eyed. "Really?"

Manga wasn't a medium he indulged in often, if ever, and he never considered Shoujo as a serious market competitor. He supposed teenage girls were a solid age market, but maintaining a following and customer loyalty was no small feat. Perhaps the department was more impressive than he thought. They hopped off the elevator and walked down bland office halls covered in bulletin boards and framed displays that showcased publication awards.

"Also many of the women in the building have eyes on the men. I hope you don't have a jealous girlfriend on the side, Midoriya," Ashido sang.

Izuku rubbed the back of his neck, a light flush hitting his cheeks, and chuckled. "Sorry, I seem to only have a solid commitment to books."

"You and your entire department." Ashido grinned. "You'll fit right in."

They stopped outside an office entryway with a standard wall plaque to the left that read 'Emerald'. Izuku swallowed the sudden cotton in his throat and set his jaw. This job was still an opportunity, a stepping stone towards his future. Connections with his coworkers were everything in publishing.

Izuku rounded the corner, Ashido trailing behind, and followed a long row of filing cabinets until a wide open space ran across the floor. Clicks against keyboards and shuffles of paper hit his ears. He took a breath and fell into a bow before he registered the number of people in the room.

"It's nice to meet you! My name is Izuku Midoriya and… I'm—" A shadow moved around Izuku's feet, halting his words. He blinked, raising his eyes slowly. A gaunt, withered-face man stared up from the floor, eyes closed and groaning. Izuku lifted his head to the rest of the room, his mouth falling open.

Everything was a colossal mess.

Stacks of paper, towers of books, rolls of posters, what looked like blueprints and more swam across the room. A thick miasma of despair doused his body and he wrinkled his nose at the stale air. Men were scattered across the mess: slumped in their chairs, leaning against a cabinet for support, or buried under books like some Wicked Witch of the East at Izuku's feet.

Izuku shrieked.

"Oh right," Ashido said, finally turning the corner. "I guess this would be a little surprising to a newcomer. Sorry, I guess I mixed up the days."

Izuku twisted his head, blood draining from his face. "Are they okay?!"

"Of course! It's actually not that bad today," Mina surmised.

_What can be not bad about this?_

"Who is shouting in my department?" A man grumbled behind Ashido.

Even within Izuku's panic, he took pause at the broad man behind them. When he said broad, he meant the sort of sharp cut broad that checked all the boxes. He was young, around Izuku's age, and wore rumpled clothes. His appearance was considered mildly disheveled, but it was slight in comparison to the potentially undead co-workers. His hair was two-toned, half white and half red, and there was a red blemish around his left eye which didn't detract from his attractive features.

"Todoroki! This is Izuku Midoriya, he's your new hire! Midoriya, this is your Editor-in-Chief." Ashido grinned as if nothing was amiss in the world. Midoriya wasn't sure if she was desensitized to the office's chaos or had a steel stomach.

Todoroki hardly glanced at Izuku.

"I-It's nice to meet you," Izuku said automatically.

Todoroki's mouth sat in an ill-mannered frown. "Why did you bring in a new hire _today?_"

Ashido chuckled. "Sorry, sorry! It's never bad to have an extra set of hands, right?"

Todoroki didn't seem to agree or disagree and just waved at her. "Fine. I've got it from here. Thanks, Ashido."

"Just don't be too hard on him! He's really cute after all." She winked at Izuku, giving him a thumbs up, before bouncing back down the hall.

Ashido's bright energy was quickly amiss as the silence of the office and Todoroki's attention shifted solely to him. Todoroki stared solidly at Izuku, his frown falling farther as if solving a complicated problem. It was unnerving more than anything.

"You look familiar," Todoroki stated suddenly. "Have you worked in manga before? Shonen, Seinen?"

"Um, no, I haven't actually." Izuku blinked. No one told him he looked similar to someone before. At least not since he cut his hair many years ago. In fact, he usually stood out in a crowd with his freckles and the wavy mop on his head.

Todoroki stared at him longer before grunting, "You have a very common face. My mistake."

Izuku's head recoiled. Did he just call him plain? He pursed his lips, not sure whether to be miffed or wary, and settled on glowering at Todoroki's back as he began walking through the swamp of an office.

"What is your experience?"

"Literature," Izuku grumbled. He stumbled on the legs of a fallen editor halfway through the room and went to apologize but the man hardly heard him. Looking closer, all the editors just looked _tired. _They were more asleep than dead, though it was a fine line.

Todoroki hummed. "Okay, Rookie."

_Rookie?_

"You don't know anything and I don't have time to teach you, so you're shadowing me today. Do everything I ask, or turn in your badge. I don't have time for baggage. Understand?"

Izuku flushed at the neck. He understood that he was inexperienced, but Todoroki didn't have to make him sound like a _complete _liability. If it was his choice, he would've loved to join his preferred division and contribute within the week. Looking around, Izuku wasn't sure he could survive a week.

"Yes, sir," he muttered, resigned.

Besides Todoroki's blunt mannerisms with his staff, such as shouting them out of their despairing naps and not flinching when they staggered like zombies with their tasks, the next few hours were simple. Izuku scrounged for a notebook around the thousands of papers in the office and jotted notes as he watched Todoroki go about his day. He didn't have to, but he refused to be useless forever. Whether he stayed in the department or not— because Todoroki wanted to get rid of him or Izuku ran out of there— knowing the logistics was important to him. Having such a huge gap between him and his colleagues already made him nervous.

Izuku attempted to ask questions while Todoroki worked, but he always gave responses that were either really cheeky or curt. Izuku even asked to assist other co-workers for a while, perhaps receive better answers to his questions, but Todoroki insisted he'd be in the way. On the flip side, Todoroki was admittedly very efficient with his tasks and easy enough to follow.

So Izuku jotted the questions down to find the answers later.

"I'm going to meet an author for a replacement," Todoroki announced, pushing up from his rolling desk chair. They hadn't really spoken for the past hour so Izuku didn't know he was addressing him at first and bristled at the expectant stare. "You can join me or take a break."

"Ah, I'd rather join you."

Todoroki shamelessly stared, flickering eyes across Izuku's freckles and stiff shoulders. It was no less unnerving than the first time. He shrugged, turning his glance away and taking a mountain of pressure from Izuku's shoulders, then lead them downstairs.

They entered a section of the building consisting of bare meeting rooms with clear walls and met with a petite girl with an almost disturbingly wide smile and her hair in double buns. She bowed with a clipped stack of papers clutched against her chest and Todoroki gave one in turn. Her eyes caught to Izuku, glittering a secret excitement, and she waved when he just hovered on the side. She tittered when he gave a scrambled bow in return.

"Thank you for coming. Sorry about the time constraint," Todoroki started.

"Not at all! Especially when it's for you, Todoroki." Her voice was not at all ironic and she fluttered her eyes, as if swooning. Todoroki sat at the long oval conference table and rifled through the papers after the girl followed. Izuku figured it was the final manuscript before print since all the pages were inked. It was clear today was the deadline for authors, which explained the exhaustion and stress in the department.

He scribbled a question in his notebook, _'When are they hitting the shelves?'_

"This right here," Todoroki pointed at a panel, "could you redraw it at a different angle?"

"Of course, I can! What angle do you mean?"

Izuku leaned forward, trying to catch sight of the drawing. Two characters were in a dramatic embrace, the male trapping the female from behind as wind blew their hair forward and clothes upward.

The author sketched on a separate sheet of paper and Todoroki stood to hover over it. "It needs to be more dramatic; the male's face should be hidden in the neck."

From Izuku's point of view, it was plenty dramatic. He double underlined a question from earlier about when the printers needed the drawing. Didn't Todoroki mention this was a replacement? That usually meant it was a previously finished backup that needed to be polished. Why was he being picky on a time constraint?

Todoroki watched the author scribble a new angle and shook his head again. "Not like that. Imagine being held desperately."

"Are you trying to get me to imagine you holding me, Todoroki?" The girl giggled. Izuku silently wondered if all manga authors were this forward. He didn't write it down.

Todoroki stood tall, humming, then directed a stare at Izuku. The air shifted, spurring a prickling uneasiness on Izuku's skin. It wasn't just the frankness of Todoroki's stares which were unnerving, it was his unreadable expression. His mouth never moved farther than a frown and his cheeks were are flat as a plastic doll; but his eyes sparked and whirled in a foreign language where the words didn't match the sounds. Izuku felt he experienced this stare before, it was familiar, but he couldn't grasp it. And that bothered him more.

Todoroki nodded to the author before gesturing at Izuku. "It's better to show you." Todoroki walked close to Izuku, closer than they've stood all day, and gestured for Izuku to stand closer.

He hesitated, fidgeting with his pen. "Are we going to get samples?" It was a natural conclusion to an author needing direction with their drawing.

Todoroki took the pen and notebook from Izuku then maneuvered him to face the opposite wall. Izuku clenched and unclenched his empty hands. If there was one thing Izuku was learning about Todoroki today, he clearly didn't know how to express himself out loud and it was nerve-wracking.

Then the feeling of strong arms engulfed Izuku in a tight hold. Todoroki's extra inches flushed at unfortunately pleasant angles and heat pushed against Izuku's entire back.

A hot flash ran to Izuku's face and he froze to stone.

"You saw the drawing. Put your hands over mine."

"Ah—um!" Izuku trembled. Todoroki was whispering near his ear, brushing tendrils of hair to tickle his skin. He was in an embrace with _his boss, in front of an author! _It was fair to say his brain was not fast enough to find a comfortable reason to transition out of the situation, and so he robotically did as he was told. In the small recesses of his mind, he admitted it felt really _right _to be in Todoroki's arms, but his frantic logic overruled all of that.

He didn't think it could get much worse—not truer statement to sum up his day— until Todoroki's head fell into the crease of his neck, his nose nuzzling against skin. A hint of pine ran to his nose and a sharp trill was rising to his head. Externally he breathed very deeply.

They only held that position for a few seconds until the weight on Izuku's back disappeared and Todoroki calmly took back his seat at the table.

"Did you get that?" He asked the girl, who was nodding and scribbling much faster than before, fervid passion in her eyes. Todoroki eyed her drawing and nodded, clearly pleased. "Looks good. Ink it as fast as you can and we'll be done."

Izuku was practically hyperventilating in his spot, his back still vibrating, as Todoroki looked back at him, indifferent. "Not bad, rookie."

"N-n-no! What was that?"

It took a moment for Todoroki to realize what he referred to. "Modeling."

"Modeling?" He echoed dumbly.

"Real life models are better. Plus you were the perfect height."

Izuku shook on the spot, unable to categorize the weird plague of embarrassment, nervousness, and fire building beneath his skin. He settled on pursing his lips, stiffly returning to his notes, and stabbing his pen onto the page.

_'Boss isn't normal' _He underlined several times.

When Todoroki sent Izuku on a break after the meeting, he was certain his spirit had officially left his body.

Technically it wasn't sexual harassment to be _hugged_, but the way Todoroki did it just felt…felt…and he didn't even ask his permission! Izuku groaned, his head falling into his hands. Maybe Izuku should apply somewhere else, stick with his guns in literature. He could strengthen outlines, cut run-ons, and properly use an oxford comma, but he was not qualified to handle…whatever high emotional stakes this job required. Though he doubted he could receive another job so soon, considering the competitive field. He was stuck.

"Giving up?"

Izuku's entire body jolted in his seat. He cast wary eyes on Todoroki's carefree lean against the archway, sipping a steaming paper cup.

"I talked to Aizawa," Todoroki said, gesturing upwards. "You worked at All Might Publishing."

Izuku stared dubiously. "I did."

"Mad you didn't get your dream job the first day?"

A sour taste slithered in Izuku's throat, caught in his own selfish thoughts. He had a right to feel frustrated to be in an unfamiliar environment, especially with so little notice. But Todoroki made it seem like he was ungrateful to have a job at all, which wasn't the case.

"I'm just…I've never done well with romance novels. And I've never read manga. I want to be a good editor but—I feel like I'm being set up to fail." Izuku ran his eyes across the bland table in front of him, finding fascination with the flecks of stained wood.

It wasn't just that he was bad with romance as a genre. He was bad with romance; period. Thinking of romance reminded Izuku of high school—of _him—_when his heart was torn and stomped. Then, afterwards, navigating topics of love became impossible for Izuku, he didn't want to remember it. He blocked off so many memories he couldn't even recall his ex's face.

Todoroki sipped at his cup again. "You hardly asked any questions today. Seemed like you gave up before even starting."

Izuku's shoulders ruffled and he waved his notebook. "I have all sorts of questions. You're just kind of terrible as answering them!"

Todoroki's brows raised. "Funny, I thought you asked terrible questions."

Izuku's mouth twitched and he crossed his arms, refusing to continue. Fighting with his superior wouldn't get him anywhere, and Todoroki lived on a completely different wavelength that agitated his nerves. There was no way they could understand each other.

Todoroki finished his cup, crushing it in his hands and tossing it in a bin. "Everyone is a beginner at something. Your past experience isn't useless, and you're quick minded. We can teach you. You might even do well."

Izuku blinked, a surprise flutter hitting his chest. Was Todoroki actually encouraging him?

"Though, a useless person is always useless no matter how hard they try."

Izuku's temple twitched. Nevermind, he_ definitely_ couldn't understand him.

"We finished the magazine so everyone went home. You can leave as well, rookie."

"Midoriya," Izuku glowered.

Todoroki stopped to look at Izuku before he left. "I'm positive I've met you before. Do you have a sibling?"

"None," Izuku emphasized with clear rigged irritation. "This is definitely the first time I've met you."

Twenty minutes later and Izuku snuck back to the department. He still shuddered at the horrendous mess, but set his jaw as he pursued the labeling of the filing cabinets. It really was a mystery how this department was doing so well.

Todoroki was right. He was a beginner, this was a weakness, and he had to work to overcome it. If he stayed in the department and was still terrible, it was his own fault. A lot of beginners in publishing weren't guaranteed to start where they wanted, but it made them more flexible in the long run.

He rummaged the cabinets and bookshelves all the way to the east side of the office, where it looked much neater, to find their history of published books. He got a catalog and committed to several stacks of manga, diversifying different series, and hobbled over the least messy desk station, which he assumed would become his, to set them down.

The bend of the soft covers were unfamiliar and he wasn't sure how deeply he should admire each panel from the perspective of an editor or even a reader, but he settled deep into his rolling chair. He would catch up to his colleagues, even if it pained him, even if it seemed impossible. He never wanted to hear Todoroki call him useless again.


	2. 365 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

**!EDIT!**: I'm editing some chapters before I move forward because it physically pains me to read them lol Most changes are for clarity and flow, with very minor added narrative or altered dialogue that doesn't change the story, so re-reads are unnecessary ;))

* * *

"Oh! Uh, sorry!"

Izuku stumbled into an awkward bow, looking at the woman he almost tripped as he walked through the revolving doors. She kindly waved him away, but the squint around her eyes said she didn't have the highest opinion of him. Izuku knew he probably didn't make the best morning impression.

He stayed up late last night reading manga, filling his head with as many stories as he could handle and growing bags under his eyes like moss. Admittedly, he might have overdone his reading at the ninety-ninth book, but it never felt like enough. The stories weren't _terrible_, they were usually quite entertaining, and there could be a sense of addiction to the formulaic plot points. However, Izuku just couldn't empathize with the main characters. Lost love, found love, against all odds love, jealousy, drama. Why go through all that work? How did they even know they were _in _love?

Even into the morning, Izuku tried to answer those questions. Only four hours of sleep, three cups of coffee, and muttering his way into a random coworker had led him to nothing but the dread of entering the mess of his new office. At least, in his dishevelment, he would blend in with his coworkers.

"Welcome to Emerald, Izuku!"

Twinkling lights strobing against rays of yellow and various shades of pink glared against Izuku's eyes as he turned the corner to his office. He struggled to keep his eyes open, not at all recalling the office even having windows. The smell of cotton candy and lemon wafted through the room, the complete opposite of the stale balm from the day before, and well-dressed males—very eye-catching males at that— were standing before Izuku with beaming smiles.

Izuku turned on his heel.

"I think I entered the wrong department," he muttered.

"Hey, hey! You're in the right spot, don't worry. Sorry we couldn't greet you yesterday, but we fixed all the dead manuscripts so you've got our full attention today!" The man speaking had a really friendly face and a sharp smile. His long red hair was pulled in an attractive messy bun that softened and accentuated his strong jaw and high cheekbones. His brows are small but he was really attractive in a way that made Izuku fidget.

"Oh, wow. I mean—yeah! It's"— Izuku cleared his throat and stumbled into a bow— "it's wonderful to meet you."

The man gave a two-fingered salute "I'm Kirishima. The best boy."

Izuku made a short laugh into the back of his hand. "Best…boy?"

"A real man shows himself in deeds, not in his titles." Kirishima waved behind at the two other males, who also teetered on the unfair attractiveness scale. Ashido's comments from the day before made a lot more sense.

Kirishima pointed to the bright blond with porcelain skin. "That's Aoyama. Queen boy."

"Nice to meet you."Aoyama flipped his hair and winked, seeming to manifest sparkles. Izuku solemnly agreed with Kirishima's assessment.

The other male had dark hair, parted to frame his face while some frays danced between his eyes, but that couldn't hide his sharper features. "And that's Tamaki. The baby boy."

Tamaki gave a watery smile and waved, though on close inspection his hand was trembling slightly and his eyes were staring just to the left of Izuku so they didn't make true eye contact. Izuku gave another quick bow to everyone; a pressure unwinded around his shoulder blades. Watching your coworkers miserable and half buried on the first day wasn't the brightest outlook for a job he didn't ask for, but their friendliness was refreshing. Clearly, yesterday was a special case.

Izuku's eyes strayed towards the back of the office where white and red hair shone the brightest against the window pane. Todoroki was leaning back in his chair, a marker between his teeth and papers in his hands. Something flipped in Izuku's midsection. Just like everyone else, he looked better, well rested and renewed. But even that wasn't accurate. He was good-looking yesterday, something that was hard to admit amongst his abrupt personality, but he was unfairly handsome today.

He was a sort of quiet beauty that blended in the background—in that he needed to be quiet to be admired, otherwise his words could break the illusion. Plus he called Izuku plain-looking yesterday, which Izuku still hadn't forgotten. It was especially a bit of a blow now that he stood amongst the rest of his colleagues.

Izuku pointed at Todoroki and asked, "What do you call him?"

"Dad," everyone responded in unison.

Izuku huffed another chuckle, knowing they were pulling his leg, maybe for his benefit or maybe not, but he felt lighter—more optimistic. Though the room was too pink for his taste, Izuku admitted he felt a little giddy to try again with his job today.

The three men indicated Izuku's station along the long table which connected everyone's desk. It was clear of all the stacks of paper and stray notebooks from the previous day and well organized with more…colorful additions. Each station on the table was stacked with pink, cottony objects from plush toys, glitter picture frames, ribbons, and even the pencils and pens had hearts around the base. Izuku wasn't sure if this was the impact of working in the department or a common quirk, and he was too afraid of the answer to ask.

Everyone in the department, minus Todoroki who announced he'd be in meetings most of the day, was surprisingly helpful. They taught Izuku phototypesetting on the computer and by hand, how to apply tones, and how many authors they were expected to take at a time. Since Izuku went through the process of reading manga the night before, he had a million questions beyond the notebook he even made before that. Why were there so many tones on one page, and what was up with the white backgrounds with large font, why did everything have sparkles, and does wind always have to pick up before confessions?

"Slow down, buddy!" Kirishima stopped him by clasping his shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll explain it all. If I could transfer the entire process of editing straight to your brain, I would, but Shoujo is something you experience. It has to grab your heart, ya know?"

Izuku creaked back in his seat. "Right, sorry."

Kirishima tried to break down each of his questions and brought Tamaki and Aoyama in as well, but it was just so…frivolous; and after every question, his good mood began to slip. In a manufactured way he understood their methods and thought processes; such as why certain images or tones evoked ideas of joy or infatuation with a reader. However, the stories Izuku read were so detached from reality it made his head hurt.

Every time, in every story, Izuku couldn't ignore how easy everything came to the main characters at the end.

Maybe this was the hallmark of manga, the optimistic ease the main character could achieve their goals. Izuku wouldn't say he was pessimistic, but working hard didn't always achieve the desired results and these heroines were giving unrealistic expectations for readers.

'Your feelings will definitely be reciprocated one day' was the biggest lie.

After Izuku came back from a lunch break, which was mostly walking around and admiring that not every surface had a glittery sheen or hues of pink, he found a huge stack of manuscripts at his station. Todoroki was leaning against his desk.

Izuku asked, "What are these?"

"These are copies of story outlines, storyboards, and final drafts of every story we've published in the past five years. These red marks are from before I began working here, and these green marks are my changes."

Izuku riffled through the top pages, following the direction of Todoroki's pointing. The story outlines he would be able to follow, that was an experience from his old job; the manuscripts and final drafts were tricky. He knew how to move and shape language, but not how a good visual story was told. It was a totally different playing field.

"Read these in three days and come to me with any questions you have. I'll explain it," Todoroki finished, and Izuku's head whipped to him and back to the stack.

"I need to finish…all of these? In three days?" One stack of papers stood two feet tall and if these were five years worth of stories and at least sixty stories were published a year, and thirty books were published on top—

"You can't do it?"

Izuku worked his jaw. "I can do my best," he grumbled.

"So, you can't."

Izuku bristled and slapped a hand on one of the stacks and slid one clipped binding towards him before throwing himself into his seat. He punctuated the gesture by flipping to the first page. "I got it!"

Izuku could hear Todoroki arching his brow. "Good to know."

Todoroki really had a talent for getting Izuku heated.[] His Editor-in-Chief didn't move away from the desk as Izuku read, his gaze stabbing Izuku's sides. Izuku peaked upwards. Narrow slants watched him with clear frustration. Then a hand reached out and brushed back Izuku's bangs, forcing him to look higher.

"I _know_ you. Change your face, it's bothering me," Todoroki said.

"Wha—?" Izuku's head tingled, a small thrill trickling down the back of his neck. It brought a warmth to his cheeks and made him recoil, swatting roughly at Todoroki's hand. "St-stop that. We've both worked in publishing for a few years. I bet we've passed each other in agencies and didn't notice. Stop thinking about it." []

Todoroki breathed out his nose, the hard eyes yielding around the edges, and turned back to his seat. "You're right, sorry."

Izuku's eyes followed Todoroki to his desk. The tingling on his head was slow to leave and he found fascination with fiddling with the edges of the manuscript in his hands.

"Wow, Midoriya, you're really going to finish all that in three days?" Aoyama interjected with unnecessary dazzling flair across the table.

Izuku jumped a bit, sheepishly forgetting anyone else was nearby. "It's honestly not too bad. I just don't want to risk burning out; I did a lot of reading last night."

"What did you read?" Tamaki looked up, eyes steady and shining.

Izuku's mouth tilted, amused. "Ah," he picked up the catalog he crossed out last night, "everything published from '91 to '94, so far."

"Whoa!" Kirishima exclaimed, slapping a hand on his table and leaning forward with an 'o' face. "That's at least over ninety books! Are you a demon?"

Izuku laughed awkwardly and shrugged. "It's nothing. I've always loved reading. I even read the entire library at my high school by senior year. It's more like an impulsive obsession."

A loud clatter knocked to the right and everyone turned towards the head of the table. Todoroki was wiping at a manuscript and muttering expletives while holding his coffee mug high and away.

"Alright there, boss?" Kirishima asked.

Todoroki didn't even glance at Kirishima and stared directly at Izuku. It looked like he wanted to say something, emotions clicking across his face like a projector slide on a thousand frames per second. If one could scream with their face, he was positive Todoroki was projecting a monologue at him.

"Nothing," Todoroki mumbled before focusing back on his desk.

Izuku breathed, not realizing he held it, and went back to the manuscript. Todoroki probably thought Izuku was trying to brag, that it wasn't impressive to read so much, but it was the only method that came naturally to him. He learned a lot about the world through books, and being befuddled by such a universal concept as love which came easy to everyone else was obviously frustrating in his current position. He just wanted to prove himself as fast as he could, it was as simple as that.

Two and a half weeks passed, and Izuku learned about the department's true legacy in the building called the 'the cycle' or 'the period'. They truly had a bizarre, intimate connection to the feminine condition.

The process only took several days. The room would dissolve from the bright pink tables and sparkling, pressed clothes to mystery stains on casual sweaters and papers rising to the ceiling like bamboo shoots. Exhaustion elongated everyone's face, reverting them back to the day of the dead Izuku met on day one. Though Izuku was only meant to shadow the cycle, accomplishing basic proofreading and typesetting tasks, he also took extracurricular work home. He read more manuscripts and more manga until his energy waned with the rest of the office— though at a much slower rate.

"All your assistants got sick? You guaranteed the manuscript this morning and I already fought to push back this deadline! When can you finish? You _don't know_?"

Izuku also discovered that Todoroki could be very fierce and very loud when it came to authors missing their deadlines. His stares alone could make a wild animal roll over in defeat, let alone his tone.

"Fine, I'm coming over!" Todoroki slammed the desk receiver and pointed at Izuku.

"You. Come with me. Bring your typesetting tools and cutters, we're doing them at my stupid author's studio."

Izuku didn't argue, understanding he was the most flexible in the department, and stuffed everything into a traveling bag before following Todoroki outside the building and into a cab. Izuku watched him argue on the phone through the drive, his voice terse yet composed in a way that complimented each other. No matter how much Todoroki could rile up Izuku, it was obvious why he was head of the department. He handled every task with precision and adapted quickly to unforeseen complications. In that way, Izuku held a respect for him and he wondered why this current author was so late with her manuscript when Todoroki usually wouldn't hesitate to replace them.

They arrived at the author's studio, and Izuku came to the conclusion that everyone working in manga had very short life spans.

The stale, decaying air from his office colleagues was reflected on the manga author's assistants who were all wearing sick masks and moving slow, trembling hands across panel pages. The author— a well-figured woman with long lashes and defined curves—flung herself in her chair after answering the door and looked on the verge of tears.

"Kayama," Todoroki glowered. Kayama sat straight in her seat and jutted out her lip.

Todoroki stalked towards her desk, face as blank as ever but terrifying all the same."If a single guilty tear leaves your eye, it means you were capable of meeting the deadline."

"I'm stress crying! That's natural!" She glared up at him.

"Stress wastes energy! Put it to good use and keep drawing!"

"I'm working on it! It's bad enough my assistants are sick due to my negligence last month, but now I could be late twice—" Kayama's lips trembled and she swiped a rough hand across her face. "Will the fans even care?" She turned back to her desk, her hands staggering across the page as she tried to continue working.

"How many more?" Todoroki asked in a low voice.

"Five pages."

Todoroki made a 'tsk' noise. "That's outrageous, hurry up."

Izuku stood stiff at the door, clasping hard at his bag and wringing the handle. The author was doubting herself, mentally taking steps backwards, and Todoroki was just pushing her forward without consideration. She was lost in a panic and Izuku worried she could shut down entirely. What was Todoroki _doing?_

"I can't even tell if the characters are relatable anymore." Kayama's eyelashes drooped and her pencil slowed. "Are they going through the motions? Are my drawings conveying anything? I just want to start over—"

"Don't. Keep going," Todoroki asserted.

"But I'm serious—"

Izuku stepped forward. "I've read your story!"

Todoroki and Kayama turned, raising brows at Izuku's shout, and the attention prickled on his skin. "I-I read your last book a while ago." Izuku had caught sight of a stack of books in the room, and recognized the cover as one of the manuscripts Todoroki made him go through a couple weeks ago. "I'm new to manga, so I don't know much, but even as a guy I felt Midnight's internal struggle."

"About…BDSM?" Kayama asked. Todoroki covered his mouth as he turned away and made a sort of snorting noise.

"N-no! That's not—" Izuku stumbled then gave Todoroki a withering stare before walking towards Kayama's desk. "I'm saying, she was relatable and memorable. I even thought, 'you can do it' a few times. Any author who can make a reader react is amazing, right? I think you're natural at it."

It was hard to tell if his words meant anything, if they were just empty compliments to a large room, but then Todoroki patted him on the shoulder and continued, "See, even a rookie can see it. It's going to be good, just finish."

"But the deadline—"

"I already pushed it back. I knew you wouldn't finish, so I called."

"But you said—!"

"I know you too well. You needed more time to be satisfied. You should be grateful."

Kayama pouted at Todoroki but then her mouth tilted until her eyes were fiery and sparkling. Her shoulders rolled back as she turned to her work with a steadier hand.

For several hours, Todoroki and the assistants directed Izuku for typesetting, working on tones, and proofreading. Izuku panicked a few times when a line went crooked or he poked through a tone too rough, but everyone was supportive even under the pressure.

Everything wasn't finished until the evening and Izuku and Todoroki rushed back to the office to bow until their knees begged and the printing office took it away. They wind up sprawled in the break room, hiding from the waning sun, and taking a breather. Izuku hid his face in his hands, his eyes burning and muscles sore as if he exerted himself in a marathon.

Todoroki made a risk today. His author easily could've missed her deadline. She held doubt about her process and the workload was against her, but Todoroki made it work. He wanted Kayama to succeed and fought for her until the end.

An editor that helped their author become their best selves. Exactly what Izuku wanted to become, Todoroki did it for manga.

Izuku peaked through his fingers, admiring the lines of Todoroki's neck as he drank from a cold coffee can from the vending machine. Izuku's mouth felt dry and something silent and warm built in his lower abdomen.

Todoroki turned and Izuku twisted his eyes away. No, no way. He could find Todoroki attractive, but he was also his boss and thus completely off limits. Plus he irked Izuku more often than not, notwithstanding his appearance.

"You did well today," Todoroki said, his arm outstretched. He offered a second can of coffee, which Izuku didn't notice he bought earlier. Izuku gratefully took a long sip.

"I didn't do anything…I just—couldn't do nothing."

"You have a way with reaching out to people," Todoroki mumbled. Izuku turned sharply. "In the end, you calmed her down and we finished. I might not have done it without you. So, good job." Todoroki raised his coffee can forward, and gave a tentative smile.

Izuku's heart betrayed him and fluttered against his ribcage. Todoroki's expression was genuine and soft in a way Izuku didn't think was possible. It was one of the warmest visions Izuku had ever seen and a light flush hit his cheeks. Tipping their cans forward, they bumped in cheers. Izuku fought the smile mirroring Todoroki's.

"Thanks. It, uh, surprisingly means a lot coming from you." Izuku backtracked when Todoroki's eyes widened. "I was just…unsure about this department, unsure about _you_. But you're efficient, reliable, and know how to polish authors in ways… I can't yet. There's a lot you can teach me, and I'd be honored to learn from you."

Izuku adjusted in his seat and thrust his arm forward. "So, uh, it's lovely to meet you. I'm Midoriya Izuku."

Todoroki looked at his hand, eyes fluttering and calculating. His mouth was open in a small part, unreadable. A nervous stirring ran along Izuku's arm and he stared at the lounge cushion and counted the breaths between each second. Then a soft grasp melted into his hand.

"Todoroki Shouto," he said the words with weight and Izuku snapped his eyes forward to find Todoroki watching him with open anticipation.

Something unwound inside Izuku and he beamed and shook once. "I'll be in your care, Todoroki."

The last of the sun fell, orange rays bouncing in the room and it almost looked like a fire danced against Todoroki's eyes. They didn't let go, sparks licking against their clasped palms and their pulses syncing with time; it felt really nice and since Todoroki didn't let go, Izuku stole a few more moments.

The longer Izuku stared the more Todoroki's face changed, he noticed things he felt silly for never noticing before. His eyes were different, one steel grey and the other turquoise. His expressions were subtle, but when he was so close it was obvious. Like now, there was a crinkle forming on his brow and his eyes grew hazy. His grip grew tight and he pulled Izuku forward where Izuku could identify the emotion—he looked in pain, desperate.

Izuku wanted to ask if he was alright, but then Todoroki was whispering his name, _his first name_, with a raspy voice and it stunned Izuku. The whisper was like a paralyzing spell, it kept him in place and wormed through his mind in a loop. Izuku didn't recognize how close Todoroki was leaning forward, what he meant to do by coming so close, until the sharp dip of lips covered his own in a hungry kiss.

It was hot and cold on his mouth, Todoroki sucking and lapping his lips with harsh desperation. Coffee ran between their lips and excitement coiled in Izuku's chest. For a moment, one deceitful moment, Izuku arched his neck and pressed back, gasping until it met tongue. Todoroki moaned and the sound rippled straight to Izuku's legs.

Then he realized he was _kissing his boss_.

Izuku pushed at Todoroki's shoulders and leapt to the other end of the lounge couch, angling his legs to a fetal position.

"Wha-what were you doing?" Izuku clamped hands over his mouth as if to preserve his lips from another attack.

Todoroki seemed to wake up from a daze, blinking as if awakening somewhere he didn't expect. When his eyes focused, the earlier smile was gone and replaced with a frustrated scowl. "I think that was fairly obvious," his voice low and strained.

"We're not— I mean, this isn't profession—"

His brows were still crinkled, eyes lost, angry, hurt and so many emotions. "You still don't know who I am?"

"What?" Izuku squinted. "Is this about me looking familiar again? Todoroki, you've got it all wrong."

Todoroki pinched his lips tight, eyes wavering before looking down at the table.

"I shouldn't be surprised but—" he scoffed. He reached for his coffee and finished it in a gulp before rising for his briefcase and coat. The can crinkled in his hand before clanging into the trash.

Izuku cried out, "Wait, wait, wait! Look I'm sorry you're confusing me with someone else, but shouldn't we talk this out?" The last thing he wanted was to walk into work the next day thinking about Todoroki's lips and either craving more or avoiding him altogether out of embarrassment.

"Don't bother, just…head home. I'm going first."

Izuku let him walk as far as three steps before he lurched through the door and clutched Todoroki's arm. Todoroki glared back at him, shoulders tense, and it was intensely unsettling. Saying his stares were severe was an understatement, but Izuku refused to let this sit between them. Todoroki didn't even apologize— like he had the right.

"You can't leave until you tell me."

Within a few breathes, the glare simmered to a slight divot between his eyes, but it didn't intimidate Izuku _less._ "At the end of high school, my dad took me in. Changed my last name from my mother's to his. My name used to be Shouto _Saga_." He watched the realization slap Izuku in the face, though there was no satisfaction in it. "And you broke my heart."

The slip of fabric moving out of his fingers was a far off whisper in Izuku's world. His mind fired off blocked memories from so many years ago that he staggered on his feet. Shivering whispers in his ear, shining black hair, and a love so consuming it still haunted him eight years later, no matter how hard he forced himself to forget.

Saga. His Saga.

The world fell back into place and Sa—_Todoroki_ was gone. Izuku wobbled into a low crouch and breathed into his hands.

The man he loved in high school, the one that completely changed him, the one he hoped to never meet again, and now Izuku was working for him. Not only that but he accused Izuku of breaking _his _heart? Izuku wanted to track him down and yell and yell for so many things, adrenaline rushing through his blood. It was so infuriating he wondered if he should've quit the first day after all. It was a joke, it had to be a joke, _right_?

Izuku gathered his things and marched to the train station, the night air biting his skin. He thought he was doing pretty well calming down, his mind falling to a subtle buzzing instead of a torrential tidal wave until he found the bright colored head of Todoroki waiting at the station as well.

Izuku marched up to him, steps rushing him across the floor faster than he thought he had left in him. "Todoroki!"

Todoroki jumped at the terse call, to Izuku's slight satisfaction. His eyes narrowed and jaw clenched but didn't say a word.

"How—How can you say those things? _I _broke your heart? How could I have done that when you never gave a shit about me?"

Todoroki's eyes ignited. "Interesting. Who left without a word, off the face of the earth, without an explanation? With the only trace left was a slap on my face and the books with your name in them?"

"Disappeared? I asked you if you loved me and you—well, you laughed. It was never serious for you!"

"What? I confessed numerous times, though I bet you never heard it." Todoroki looked towards the train, eyes hard. "And knowing how unpredictably straightforward you were, I was probably embarrassed when you asked. I laughed to cover it up."

Izuku's brows crumpled, blinking several times before his breath stuck in his throat.

Todoroki heard him go quiet and peaked at his face that was going pale. "Wait, is that why you left? Just that?"

Izuku honestly tried so hard to forget everything about that point in his life he couldn't say what he remembered clearly. The possibility of his teenage mind overblowing such a small moment was so plausible it shattered him. There had to be other reasons, some indications and build up of doubt to justify all those lost years. However, he was now standing on a platform, next to his high school love, and realizing all the pain was for nothing, and he caused it all himself. It really ripped through his pride.

Izuku jostled his bag, refusing to look at Todoroki, and turned his heel to board another car of the train. Todoroki called out to him, but what else could they say to each other. He felt embarrassed, he felt guilt, he felt _stupid _in a way that was unfair.

Izuku would have loved to forget about it for the night. Possibly to never deal with it again, however, when he and his boss left work for perhaps the first time together, they continued to go in the same direction. They hopped off the same station, walked down the same streets, and eventually ended on the same floor of Izuku's apartment.

Izuku definitely wasn't following his boss and Todoroki was unreadable at times but definitely not a stalker. They never spoke until they were both situated in front of their doors with their keys jangling outside the locks. Right next to one another.

"Is this when you run into my arms, apologizing? Or is there more you want to say?"

"W-what, no! I wasn't following you." Izuku shook his head. He jammed his key inside the lock to prove a point and Shouto watched him with a bit of a surprised gleam. "I—I just…please tell me that's a spare key or…"

"I've lived here for three years."

Izuku's head was spinning. "A year for me…"

This job was a mistake.

* * *

A/N: WOO! That was a long one, but everything gets fun from here on out, drama and lots of fluff. And the smut starts next chapter. And there will be a lot of smut here on out, otherwise, this wouldn't be a SekaiichiAU.

I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Please rip this to bits! Thank you!


	3. 363 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

A/N: Thank you, thank you to everyone commenting so far! It really helps me push through the month to finish this story, cause if I don't finish by the end of April, I'll have to push it back for another story I need to write. And that will make this harder to write, oof.

!EDIT! : This chapter was edited for clarity, narrative flow, and some dialogue changes; but the base story is the same and doesn't require a re-read ;))

* * *

_(Eight Years Ago)_

Izuku walked into Saga's room for the first time and words couldn't express his excitement.

The bedroom was plain: one bookshelf, one desk, and a television set up against the wall. It was very neat and even the bed was tucked around the edges. Izuku bit his lip from smiling and dropped his bag in a corner. He looked at the bed, an urge building in his chest that he knew was immature, and maybe a bit obscene, but if he was quick…

Izuku plopped on the bed then dropped his head into a pillow and squeezed it tight around his face, the scent of Saga filling his nose. He shuffled off the bed and back to the floor, his face red but heart thumping fast.

"I brought snacks," Saga announced, coming into the room with a tray filled with an assortment of fruit. He sat close to Izuku, legs crossed, and placed the tray between them on top of the bed. Izuku was so nervous his legs were trembling at how tight he held them together.

It was silent and Izuku's nerves were increasing each second. Something dark blue moved in the corner of his eye. It nuzzled up to Saga's leg and Saga rubbed at its soft head.

"Um…that cat, " Izuku started. It had patches of white fur at symmetrical parts of its body from under its chin, under the eyes, and along its limbs.

"Hm? This is Dabi."

"Dabi?"

"My father hates cats and that name, apparently. I thought it was a perfect opportunity."

Izuku isn't sure whether he should laugh or not, though a smile rose unbidden. "I guess you and your father don't get along?"

Saga gave him a look. "I've always wondered," he started. "Why do you say you love me when you know so little about me?"

"W-what? Oh, that's…that would be difficult to explain. And I know enough about you…" Izuku's eyes drifted to the cat who started to rub under his hand. "This cat for instance, I…kinda saw you when you rescued him."

"What?" Saga's eyes widened.

"It was raining, the cat was alone, and clearly homeless, barely under a shade of trees. Everyone walked by, but no one picked him up. I wanted to take him but my mom was allergic. Yet you did. Out of everyone, you took him. It was really kind of you."

Saga's eyes are the widest Izuku had ever seen them. "Are you actually a stalker?"

Izuku bristled and was about to blunder a terrible defense that he wasn't exactly stalking him _that day_, when he noticed the building red on Saga's ears. Saga's gaze fell to the cat and the front of his hair covered his eyes as if trying to hide his embarrassment. A flutter hit Izuku's chest.

"You're…also really smart," Izuku babbled, "Always top of your class. You love books, like me. And you're closed off, but that makes me want to open you up. L-love you with all my heart. Cause there's this feeling that tells me you're the one I'm meant to give it to." Heat scorched his neck with each word and Izuku stared hard at his hands by the time he finished, but every word was true and with Saga it felt right to tell him. The space between them never felt scary, it didn't feel like a bold leap; its inviting and sweet.

Long fingers trailed along Izuku's chin, a pleasant touch that made him shiver and he followed it until he was staring at Saga again.

Soft lips occupied his entire world the next moment.

Izuku squeaked, his mouth too preoccupied to make any other sound, though he can't find the will to pull away. He dreamed about this, fantasized about it. Saga's head tilted to properly nip at Izuku's lower lip which caused him to groan. He never kissed anyone before and he doesn't know how to give back. Was he terrible? Was his breathe bad? Izuku tried to reach up and grasp at Saga's hair, a sleek black color like a crow's feather against a moonlight sky, but before he can touch it, something wet touched his lip, encouraging him to open up, and made him change course into a panic.

Izuku pushed at Saga's shoulders and they part. Izuku is staring wide-eyed at Saga who looked confused and unfocused.

"You don't…want that?"

"Ah! No! Yes! I…"

"Then why did you hop on my bed?"

_Oh my god he saw that!_ "Well, you see—I was just—" It's not that he didn't want it, of course he wanted it. He wouldn't have thought about it for weeks if he didn't—

"It's fine, Midoriya." Saga's face said the complete opposite. "I…can wait. Or maybe, it's not that kind of affection. I don't—that is, I can come to—"

Izuku's hands clenched tightly on Saga's school uniform. His teeth are clamping hard and he's…well, he's pissed. The distance between them closed and Izuku barely registered how long Saga's eyelashes are or the following surprise on Saga's face, because he mashed their faces together. He really did mash them together, which is only half a second embarrassing before he decided to open his mouth a bit and swipe at Saga's lower lip.

Everything scattered into pleasurable torment after that. He didn't want Saga to think he was undesirable when it was the complete opposite. Izuku did nothing but desire him, imagine being with him, imagine making him smile and talk about all sorts of things. Saga kissed back with a hot fever that shook Izuku's mind until he had to hold onto something. He grabbed at Saga until he was finally sliding it through his hair and it's even better than he could've imagined. He fisted through it in grunts and groans, feathering through to the ends and stroking circles into Saga's scalp.

Saga gasped out of the kiss and adorned opened mouth kisses along Izuku's jawline, running his hands through Izuku's hair so it was out of his face and kissing the parts always covered. Saga did always seem to be frustrated with Izuku's long hair.

Izuku's vision was becoming cloudy, lost in all the attention and delicious warmth running from Saga's hands. Saga's hands trailed lower and began to play cruel teasing trails along his shirt buttons.

"Izuku."

His breath hitched, no, his heart leaped to his throat. Saga never said his first name. Saga shifted his weight so their bodies are flushed, side to side, and his hand moved lower than before.

"I want to…can I?" His head tilted back, hair a mess in his eyes, but he's so intent on Izuku. He was staring at him like he was the world.

Izuku was shaking. Excited, nervous, disbelieving. "Y-yes," he breathed. The rest of his breath lost when Saga took his mouth again. It was hard to concentrate when Saga kissed him. It wasn't even just the fact this was his first kiss, it was the attention Saga gave in each nip, lick, and bump of their noses. Izuku wanted to laugh and cry all at once.

Then Saga stroked him— Izuku had barely registered his pants were unbuckled— and all consciousness was lost.

"Ah! S-Saga," Izuku grabbed at Saga's upper arm, for both support and the instinctual urge to bring him closer. Touching himself was one thing, but from one stroke Izuku felt like he was going to explode. Saga was definitely watching him as he twisted his wrist and did delicious swipes on the tip now and again. How was he so good?

"Izuku. Izuku," Saga chanted his name and, god, Izuku could come just from that. And he probably would. Saga removed his hand, a whining sigh coming out of Izuku's mouth, and he decided removing Izuku's blouse was more entertaining.

The room was sweltering, and the build-up in Izuku's lower abdomen made Izuku desperate and wanton. Saga peppered licks and kisses on his chest at each unbuttoning and everything felt so damn sensitive. He didn't know if he loved it or if he wanted to throw Saga on the floor and finish them both off. Saga took his time though, sucking on Izuku's nipples to drawn out more sounds and he threw a small smile at Izuku as if satisfied. Izuku almost wouldn't mind never coming if he saw such a smile come from him more often.

Then Saga pushed Izuku's pants lower until his leaking erection was on display. He probably looked a mess with his blouse splayed open with red blotching and his erection hanging out, but Saga looked as feverish as a male looking at a porn mag. He was stroking Izuku again, much faster now and Izuku careened and arched into it.

"Look at me, Izuku."

Izuku didn't realize his eyes were shut, but when he opened them it felt like he was imagining it. Saga's hair is slightly damp and his eyes, those ever cutting eyes, were burning through Izuku.

"S-shouto…"

Their mouths clamped together and Izuku was coming in hot spurts. It shot up his stomach and dribbled along Shouto's hand. He was mumbling Shouto's name between hot kisses and Shouto wasn't holding back his own barrage of mumblings and groans. They melt down into slower kisses, a little sweeter and savory as Izuku came down from his high.

When they pulled back, they're both panting and not moving too far away from each other. Izuku didn't want to let go of his emboldened feeling and trailed a hand to the center of Shouto's chest.

"I—I want to…too." He looked hard at Shouto to make sure he understood.

Shouto's mouth parted, eyes blown, before he looked to the side, a strange uncharacteristic gesture. He moved forward to tuck his head into Izuku's shoulder.

"I'm fine."

Izuku felt a little hurt until he turned his head and saw the red on Shouto's ears. A smile twitched on Izuku's lips and he just nodded, gripping Shouto close to his heart.

—

(Present Day)

Izuku hardly slept that night.

He paced his home, buzzing with an energy he didn't think he had, and flashes of Todoroki's smile, Todoroki's anger, and Todoroki's words at the train station invaded his mind. Izuku, frustrated, eventually turned his heel, grabbed his keys, and left the apartment. He returned home within an hour, edging quietly outside of Todoroki's door, with bags of food and his fingers tingling. He entered his kitchen and took no more than ten minutes before he rolled up his sleeves and donned his apron.

The feel of his knife gliding across meat, the sound of oil touching a hot pan, and the colorful array of vegetables scattered on his countertop cleared his mind. Muscle memory took control as he indulged in this form of meditation which he practiced for so many years.

He had many hobbies outside of the kitchen, but cooking was the most accessible. It was something he was forced to pick up when thoughts of Saga—_Todoroki_—were too much to bear. He could distract himself in way books couldn't satisfy, because Todoroki almost ruined those for him too.

Albeit, he did earn a few scars on his hands from all his overzealous hobbies which books never afforded him: one wrong knife cut across his palms, the thousands of rips and calluses from rock climbing or self-defense on his knuckles, or when he volunteered at that animal shelter and he became a cat post. But seeing those tangible marks _felt good._ It covered up the naive innocence of his youthful, clear skin— a version of himself he vowed never to become again.

Every so often Izuku would look at the wall dividing the two apartments, wondering if Todoroki was suffering any more or less than he was. If he was unable to sleep after the realization of their mutual misunderstanding—all the lost time they had. Would Todoroki want to get back together? To try again?

No way in hell.

Izuku thumped his knife against his cutting board rather harshly as he prepped onions into thin slices. He listened to the bubbling of the water behind him, fast rolling water evaporating his agitation. This wasn't a Shoujo manga where Todoroki still loved Izuku and Izuku felt the same and they would live happily ever after. Todoroki kissed him, but it was hot and desperate. He was probably angry at Izuku as much as Izuku was mad at him. They fell to their base desires, acted rashly when they were emotionally and physically stripped from work. That's all it was.

Izuku stomped around his kitchen until two in the morning where he packed prepped food in containers for the freezer or in the fridge for the morning. When he was finally finished, exhaustion hit him like a train and he was able to fall into his bed, stripped down in his briefs, and sleep without any ghosts haunting behind his eyes.

The next morning, Izuku was able to go into work without passing Todoroki going out the door. In fact, Todoroki was already at his desk once Izuku arrived and rifling through some papers. Izuku sat at his rolling chair and greeted everyone at their stations, as if nothing was amiss, and they all returned it with the glowing refreshment of a new publishing cycle.

Izuku wanted work to run as if nothing had changed between him and his boss. They each said their piece, but in retrospect, their issues with one another was a juvenile grudge than ran too long. Izuku had no feelings for Todoroki, so it should be easy to put it behind them.

"Todoroki!" A shout came from the front entrance and all the editors turned.

They balked at the neat male with glasses, navy blue hair, and a strong jawline walking swiftly across the room and straight to Todoroki's desk. He waved his hand sharply as if karate chopping air particles. "You approved the small order of last month's book, didn't you? All of it sold in one day and now it'll take five days before we can release enough extra copies! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Todoroki raised a brow and glowered. "It's not my fault your superiors didn't listen to me when I estimated 30,000 more copies. Don't lecture me."

"But that's part of your job! Grow a backbone and measure up to your department!"

"Says the spineless corporate drone who does all the work for their incompetent bosses who can't even show up to proposal meetings."

"Who are you calling—!"

Izuku leaned towards Tamaki's desk and whispered, "Who is that guy?"

Tamaki held better eye contact with Izuku over time and even seemed to grow from his shy wobbling frown to a neutral resting face. However, he would still fiddle constantly with the edge of his shirt. "That's Iida Tenya, part of the financial department."

"Why is he yelling at Todoroki? Last month's book selling out is a good thing right?"

"The problem is the time it takes to make more copies means we're losing sales. This happens all the time. Editorial, Financial, and Aizawa usually fight on the amount to print."

Izuku was a developmental editor, following through from conception to print, but he's now realizing he wasn't particularly involved in printing numbers. That was usually up to production. Editors in manga really had a better circle of skill sets that put him to shame.

"Does he not like Todoroki?" Izuku asked, glancing at the ongoing shouting match.

Tamaki tilted his head back and forth. "It's not that. Iida is famous for methodical thinking in the workplace. Todoroki likes to see end results no matter the methods. They're perfect opposites."

"And who is this?" Iida's authoritative voice was right next to Izuku's chair and he jumped up immediately to greet him.

"Ah, I'm Izuku Midoriya! I'm a new hire, nice to meet you." He fell into a small formal bow and Iida seemed to glare down at him.

"Izuku, huh." His eyes ran ablaze behind his square lenses and Izuku's skin prickled. Then the feeling disappeared, replaced by a polite indifference, and Iida thrusted out his hand and shook Izuku's in a tight grip. "Wonderful! It is fine luck I came across you today, as I can set an example on Todoroki. Just yesterday he set the printers behind by _twelve hours_. We should uphold respect for our fellow departments and deliver as promised at the promised time! Delaying for an author is a cost on the company and time—"

"Uh, I was…there too. When he delivered the papers. Technically, he did call ahead of time." Though why Izuku would defend his boss was beyond reason. Also, Izuku swore he was losing circulation in his hand as Iida hadn't let go.

"Todoroki! You're already sullying your newest employee with bad habits!"

"Yeah, sorry," Todoroki said with a tone that was entirely _not _sorry.

Iida's jaw jutted forward and he finally let go of Izuku's hand. "If you have any questions about _proper _regulation, my door is open. It was nice meeting you."

Iida bowed and Izuku stumbled into another bow before Iida rushed out of the department as fast as he came in. Weird guy.

"Hey."

"Ah!" Izuku startled back into his chair and looked up at Todoroki holding papers near his head, staring down with his usual frown. "Y-yes?"

"You're borrowing an author this month. She's one of mine so come through me before giving feedback. If you do well, you'll have your own author by next issue." He pushed the papers forward until Izuku reached out to take them. "This is the outline she faxed me. Check it over then check back with me."

"Got it." Izuku nodded, carefully taking the papers. He took out a red pen and began to read.

Todoroki leaned close to Izuku's ear and whispered, "Did you sleep last night?"

Izuku pursed his lips. "Yeah, thanks." He found a spelling error and fixed it with a fast scribble.

"I heard noises after midnight."

Izuku twisted his head, his breath hitching. "You can hear me?" Todoroki's face was ridiculously close, his eyelashes practically glowing against his bright eyes. Izuku mentally refused to flinch away, not wanting to look self-conscious.

"No, but you admitted you were awake."

Izuku's cheeks blossomed. Smartass. "F-fine, I was up late. What does it matter?" Izuku turned back to his outline and focused on the print of the words.

"Were you thinking about me?"

Izuku just about smashed the pen in his grip and shoved himself out of the seat. "I'm going to the restroom!" He announced louder than necessary.

He marched down the hall and went straight to the sink in the men's room to splash his face. He stared back in the mirror with a weird expression—his complexion red and lips tight in a grimace. He didn't—he wasn't—Todoroki was just antagonizing him. Izuku knew what he felt, and it meant nothing. It was a haunting illusion of a distant ghost. The only thought he had of Todoroki was how much he wished he never met him. Izuku splashed his face again and again until the redness on his face went away.

Izuku came back to the office to find Todoroki back at his desk and talking on the phone. Izuku rushed to finish the outline, confident in the one skill similar to his past literature experience and slapped it on Todoroki's desk before he could get a chance to instigate another uncomfortable conversation.

Todoroki didn't mention anything beyond work the rest of the day, to Izuku's relief, and approved Izuku's corrections of the author's outline without comment.

—

The next day Izuku was also liberated from Todoroki's presence as he was in meetings all day and had to travel to meet an author. Izuku got to experience an average day studying manuscripts and helping his colleagues with blueprints and running to the mailroom. He almost felt confident without the constant distraction of eyes stabbing at him.

At noon, he was visited by Ashido and somehow a lightness overcame him at her presence.

"Hey, what's up, Midoriya! How are you hanging in there?" Ashido settled herself by sitting on his desk and crossing her ankles, looking around the room and waving at the other editors.

"Not too bad, today." He found himself being honest. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know," She leaned back and gave a wide grin. "Admiring what the Maiden Department has to offer. I told you us girls peak in now and again." She winked.

"Oh right," Izuku chuckled. "I guess you did. Wait, the Maiden Department?"

"Just a little nickname, don't worry about it." She looked at Todoroki's desk, which was currently empty, and sighed. "Todoroki is always the best to admire, but always the most elusive."

Izuku was happy to disagree with the observation.

"But it's for the best since he's taken anyway. No reason crying over spilt milk."

Izuku rewinded the words a few times, fighting himself not to ask, but curiosity won out. "What do you mean?"

"He has a fiancee! Isn't that wild?" She asked, taking his surprised expression as something positive. "You probably haven't seen her yet but she comes by a lot to drive him home, or I heard they go out to eat every weekend at the best restaurants. And she's _super_ gorgeous."

Something bitter sat in the back of Izuku's mind, an unwelcomed parasite slithering unnecessary thoughts to the forefront. "A fiancee."

"Who would've guessed a manga editor married to his job could find time to find a perfect woman. Oh, you should see the way he smiles around her, too, it's so sweet! For a while, I thought he only had one facial expression." She laughed.

Izuku couldn't say much, for the fear of old emotions bleeding on top of false words. So he happily swallowed and smothered them, just as he practiced for years.

"Yeah, who would've guessed," he responded with a stiff smile.

* * *

A/N: I wish I could say 'Oooh! So dramatic!' but I had to split the chapter since it got too long so it's anti-climatic in my head LOL I'll try posting the second half tomorrow.

I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Please rip this to bits! Thank you!


	4. 356 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

!EDIT!: This chapter was edited for clarity, flow, and a few dialogue changes. The base story hasn't changed so a re-read is unnecessary ;))

* * *

After speaking with Ashido, Izuku walked to the restroom— for the second time that week— and locked himself inside a stall. He frowned at the beige walls, staring at nothing in particular.

_Fiancee. Fiancee. Fiancee. _

The word rang through his mind so much it lost meaning. Something about it really tapped on his nerves like a nail on a coffin. The noise traveled through the air until he swore it was echoing against the tiles, cracking the surface plaster with a foreboding clink.

Then Izuku realized his phone was vibrating.

Izuku dug into his pocket and tapped the glowing screen. The name Uraraka popped up along with a message:

**_12:22pm:_** _Where have you been?_ˁ_⁽͑˙˚̀ˆ̇˚́˙⁾̉_ˀ

**_12:22pm: _**_Come out with me tonight!_

Izuku blinked and some tension ran from his chest. When was the last time he talked to Uraraka? After the surprise acceptance into Emerald, he spent over a month focused on catching up with his team. Izuku admittedly had a bad habit of obsessing when the challenge was high. She would likely be a bit miffed at him. Izuku quickly tapped back a firm confirmation, needing a break anyhow.

Izuku diligently droned through the rest of his work for the day, not having much to do since he had to wait on the storyboard by his one author. Most of his productivity amounted to twirling in his chair as he listened to Tamaki's much more confident phone voice or Aoyama's weird string of advice about caste ranks for sparkle tones. Even sitting at his desk, his coworkers found his quiet demeanor too bleak for such an early phase in the cycle and sent him home early.

Izuku received another text from Uraraka while on the train, telling him where to meet. He text back the time he would arrive after stopping at home. The train wasn't crowded for peak hours yet, so Izuku changed his clothes, boarded the train again, and walked the paved streets of downtown within the hour. He was wearing loosely fitted cotton capri pants which exposed his calves to the light fall weather, along with a yellow short-sleeved hoodie and a sling backpack strapped across his chest.

He only had to walk two blocks before he hit the grand bouldering gym that took up half the block. The name outside the building was in bold block lettering spelling APEX, while also next-door to small flagrantly colorful ice cream shop that read 'Big Gay Ice Cream' with the pictures of rainbow swirled cones. The contrast was hilarious, but also made it a popular spot for casual rock climbers with a sweet tooth; Izuku and Uraraka being one of them.

A petite girl with cropped brown hair, tight-fitting yoga pants, and a pink tank top, leaned against the concrete dividing the two buildings. She glanced upwards when Izuku's steps were close enough to hear.

"Izuku!" Uraraka squealed, leaping into his arms for a tight hug. Izuku stumbled as he caught her, and his mouth twitched into a smile. He impulsively twirled her around like a child, her legs swaying out with the wind, and smiled wider at her laughter.

"We haven't talked in a month! Was it that easy to abandon me?" Uraraka pretended to pout.

"Sorry, sorry! I was…adjusting."

Uraraka backed away to put her hands on her hips and grinned. "Showing off at your new job, huh? So, who's your new author? I heard there's going to be more Gang Orca novels! Oh, I hope you don't have him, I'd be so jealous!"

Izuku scratched at his cheek. "Right, uh, that's the thing."

"What? You do? Ooh, Izuku, you're amazing!"

"No, it's not that. I was, ah, assigned to a different editing department. Shoujo Manga, actually."

Uraraka looked struck dumb. "Eh?" Then her eyes lit up and she patted Izuku's shoulder. "Oh! You're joking!"

"No." Izuku frowned. "I'm not."

Uraraka paused. Then she screeched, "Ehhh? Manga? Girl's _romance_? Izuku you'd be terrible." She fumbled when Izuku pouted. "No offense."

"Thanks." Though he couldn't blame her when he thought the same on the first day.

Uraraka took the lead of grabbing Izuku's arm and dragging them inside the gym. They greeted the male behind the front desk, a well-toned fellow with largely intense eyes, and presented their membership passes. The interior was a large arena of various rock walls, with a beginner rope course around the corner behind the desk. Most walls stood at 25 feet with most on the sides and a large structure in the center of the building.

"It's not bad," Izuku continued, though he said it quickly enough to sound doubtful. "Coworkers are nice. Workload is…different, but it looks worse because I'm a beginner. I think it could be good for me. I mean—it is good. So far."

Uraraka hummed, probably taking his word for it, or maybe not believing him at all.

Izuku bit his cheek and led Uraraka to a random wall with not a very high climb but it had interesting holds for a warm-up. They dropped their bags and cinched their chalk pouches around their waist. Izuku dusted his hands in chalk and crossed his arm across his chest for a good stretch, observing the burn as something more acceptable than the buzzing under his skin. He wasn't lying, the department was good for him. It was his boss, the singular itch under the surface, that made him doubt everything.

"Tell me about work," he rushed out. "How's Monoma?"

Uraraka gave a humorless laugh. "Just the usual. The more he complains and points fingers, the higher he places with good authors and the more unsavory projects are thrown on me. I don't think he even likes being an editor, he just loves the opportunity to lord over others better than him. I'm gonna litter his office with wilted flowers one day, to match his withered egotistical soul."

"So you're still getting assigned projects?" Izuku asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, it's rare I get to choose a manuscript anymore. But it makes me well-rounded. I don't mind being the brunt end if it makes me into a fortress."

"That's kind of beautiful."

"See? I'm already eloquent." They both laugh then Uraraka raised a brow. "Though Toshinori is a bit sulky about his dear heir leaving us—"

"Please don't call me that." Izuku fondly chuckled.

"He visits your favorite water cooler, eats lunch with me to see if you'll call, sleeps in your old office—"

"You're definitely lying about one of those things." Izuku rolled his eyes.

"He does miss you. I texted you today more out of frustration. Not to say I don't miss you, too."

"I know. I miss everyone, too."

They finish stretching in silence, Izuku taking deep breaths. He usually told Uraraka everything, especially at All Might Publishing. They worked together since the beginning and relished in their mutual venting about the verbal bullying from senior editors— how they would twist any rumor to delegitimize their positions. Uraraka was always his rock at those times and even supported him to leave and better himself.

But now Izuku had something really bothering him, a different obstacle that blended with the past and it was hard to put into words. He felt like complaining to her now would be quitting, admitting weakness, admitting something back into himself he didn't want.

"Izuku," Uraraka called.

"Yes?" Izuku looked at her, not realizing he was staring blankly forward until his eyes had to focus.

Uraraka made a soft expression. "What's wrong?"

And that's all it took. Uraraka's open and compassionate obstinance, telling him he could say anything and she would put him back together. He didn't have to face this alone. This wasn't back then.

Izuku arbitrarily rubbed at his hands, pretending he was flexing them to climb, but really he needed something to distract him. "It's who—it's my boss at Emerald. The Shoujo Department." He took a pause to look at the climbing wall, trying to figure out his route. "He's my ex from high school."

"No. F'in. Way." Uraraka's voice was strikingly scandalized. "_The _ex? The one who used you? Oh, I'd love to give him the ole' Ochako family One-Two."

Izuku walked up to the wall and gripped one of the slot handles and placed his foot on a slope. "Today I learned he had a fiancee," he started then shook his head. "Which doesn't mean anything. He's only a boss to me now, but—I dunno I feel so…so _annoyed. _Since I met him the first day, he's hugged me, he's _kissed_ me, flirted with me and then I learn he has a fiancee from a coworker—not from him." Izuku struggled on a triangular wedge that divided half the climb and took a harsh breath and a hard grip that made his fingers feel red. "Maybe I wanted him to prove he wasn't the terrible person I thought he was, the person who ruined me for eight years— but this proved me right. And now I have to just…roll with it?" Izuku was teetering on a pinch and the triangular ledge before the last rung which was a crimp. He hovered there before trying to leap for it, knowing his frustration might make him mess up.

Uraraka listened to him from the ground, puffing around his words, as he lifted off to grab the last crimp hold before touching the top bell. He fumbled, his grip weaker than he remembered, and he couldn't recover on the foothold so he let himself fall, rolling onto his back to soften the landing.

Uraraka crouched next to him, eyes soft when she caught his pinched brows and red face. She flicked at the bangs near his eyes. "So, it's safe to say this job might _not _be good for you?" she joked.

Izuku just stared ahead and shrugged, his eyes burning. Uraraka ran her fingers through the side of his head and he focused on the touch like an anchor. He was glad to have Uraraka, to have an outlet, because sometimes there was so much in his head he couldn't organize it. Todoroki made it all the worst, firing him up all the time.

"So—what do you mean he kissed you?"

Izuku grimaced, the heat on his face not going away. "Yeah, it just…happened."

"You _let _him? Izuku, you could drop kick anyone within a foot of you," she said matter a factly.

"I didn't exactly know who he was at the time."

Uraraka's brows condensed. "How does that work?"

Izuku sat up, crossed legs, needing to defend himself. "W-well, his hair is totally different! It was black in high school, I remember that much. And he's…older! Really broad shoulders, sharper cheekbones, and our heights are a bit closer." When Uraraka looked dubious with a slight mischievous raise of her brow, Izuku realized he made him sound handsome, which wasn't his intention."_And _his last name is different."

"Oh," Uraraka said. "That's wild."

"Right?"

Uraraka looked at the wall Izuku failed and began to grab at the same handles. "So—when you didn't know who he was— you let him kiss you."

The amusement was bleeding from her tone and Izuku grumbled, "Do we really have to talk about that?"

Uraraka laughed, "I mean, it's a little funny. I guess grudges don't change taste."

"'Rara!" he sulked. "It just feels like he's fooling with me. Again! 'Look at the naive Izuku, falling all over me eight years later and while I'm engaged! He just can't take a hint!'"

"You're not naive. You already suspected he was a depraved jerk. There's just," Uraraka grunted as she leaped across two sloping slots, "something about him you like, against your better judgment. Like that American song—um" she snapped her fingers until it caught her, "Blurred Lines! It's totally gross, but still kind of catchy."

"He's Robin Thicke?"

"He's totally Robin Thicke. You have to turn the tables. Seduce him into leaving you alone."

"Seduction doesn't work that way?" Izuku laughed.

"Not for men, maybe." Uraraka leapt to catch the crimp Izuku had missed and tapped the top of the run. Her feet punched the ground in a graceful leap, and she huffed a breath. She walked to Izuku to bumped forearms, their usual form of congratulations when beating a wall. "But back to being serious, is it ok to stick with this job? Your relationship is already too complicated."

"Yeah, it's complicated. But quitting would be— it's like letting him win. I'm actually learning a lot, and, if it stays professional, I think it'll open a lot of opportunities."

"If. Always a great stable foundation for confidence." Uraraka stared him down before ruffling roughly through his hair and Izuku tried to duck out. "One month and you're totally out of shape! I just on-sighted this V1 wall—"

"It is not a V1!"

"—and you fell like a pleb! Manga life really made you soft, huh?"

Uraraka swayed the conversation to focus on climbing. They use to come by once a week after work, a way to vent and shake off the remnants of being 'desk monkeys', as she called them. Izuku bested her at two walls but she continued to beat him on five others. She was able to unwind him within hours and it was one of the many things he loved about her.

They finished climbing after a couple of hours, and Izuku gave a tight hug to Uraraka before leaving. She admonished him to text more, especially on his Casanova boss, and Izuku promised to be more attentive.

He boarded the late day train home with a much lighter chest than he arrived. The crowd reached peak hours so he was pressed to stand close to people boarding on and off, but he stuck close to the center windows where he could be avoided. He thought about the wonderful shower he'd get at home and the sort of meal he could make. Kastudon sounded lovely.

"What are you wearing?"

Izuku whipped his head upwards, making his body jostled on the train's rail handle. Todoroki was looking down at him, eyes roaming across his sticking yellow shirt and exposed arms, everything sitting more snuggly than a couple hours ago. Todoroki had his work bag next to his side, so he must be coming back from meeting an author.

"Clothes," Izuku responded, still feeling rebellious and bold after being in Uraraka's company.

Todoroki frowned, "Do you have to fight me every time I ask a simple question?"

"I answered it. Sorry you ask poor questions," Izuku echoed him from their first day.

Todoroki's mouth twitched upwards, pleasantly surprised. "You're not wrong." He wet his lips and looked at the bag strapped around Izuku's chest. "Were you playing some sort of sport?"

Izuku raised a brow.

"Table tennis? Shuffleboard? Go, maybe?" Todoroki guessed.

"Shuffle—? Go isn't a sport."

"It works a vital muscle." Todoroki tapped his head and Izuku withered a stare, not sure if he was joking.

"No. To all of them."

Todoroki tilted his head, considering. "I could ask as a superior."

"That would be an abuse of power."

"Ah." Todoroki looked to the ceiling as if he had an epiphany. "Pole dancing."

Izuku, caught off guard, snickered into his shoulder. "Are these honest guesses?"

Todoroki's eyes shimmered some satisfaction. "More like wishful thinking."

Izuku's eyes fluttered and his cheek twitched. He whipped his head to look out the train windows, fast flashes of green and gray blurring in the distance. "Please stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Being _you. _Teasing me, constantly. Reminding me of the past. If you're mad, tell me, criticize me, but don't —don't make this hard."

The train took a turn and Izuku swayed, only hearing the light bustling from other passengers and the clicks and whoosh from the rails. Izuku's back felt warm and a ghost of a whisper came next to his ear, "And why would it be hard for you?"

Izuku gripped the handle tighter and ducked his head as his mind rolled and clouded. He could easily imagine shivering under the voice, the thrill that came with a single touch or sweet phrases.

Todoroki proceeded, "About us—"

"I don't want to talk about anything from the past," Izuku hissed, shaking his head. "As far as I know, _nothing_ happened. The only reason we should ever talk to each other is about work."

"You're not hearing me out. _Again. _Jumping to conclusions just as you did back then."

Izuku stared forward at Todoroki's reflection, disbelieving. "_You're _jumping to conclusions. You kiss me, ask me if I think about you, flirt with me—don't you have a—a fiancee? Why are you bothering with me?"

"Fiancee?" The window blurred as they cross high skylines and Todoroki's reflection became muddled but Izuku didn't need to see it.

"You know what, of course you'd deny it," he breathed, but it was sharp enough to be heard. "Why am I even asking? There's nothing between us so don't pretend there ever will be."

"I thought we agreed we misread each other? You're acting like I ditched you, but I wasn't the one who left."

Izuku's jaw clicked and found no sufficient words. Irrational anger built over many years wanted to justify itself, even with a silly backhanded comment like— 'you're an idiot!' 'shut up, liar'—but even those were beneath him. He turned his eyes to the ground, away from him.

Todoroki leaned closer, his voice breezing next to his head. "I may not have been very vocal when I was younger, but you're going to hear me now. I've still thought about you all these years. There was never anyone else, there will never be anyone else; and if you ever cared about me, you'd look at me and know I'm telling the truth."

Izuku's clothes were cold from the sticking sweat but Todoroki's body was electric when he was so close. A soft, gentle peck touched the back of Izuku's neck and he raised his arm to cover it, incredulous, and whipped his head to stare wide-eyed at Todoroki. Todoroki didn't look away, in fact, his gaze was bold and challenging, trying to say something that Izuku knew was too good to be true.

Izuku's face was hot and his chest was fluttering while also being ripped to shreds. He couldn't breathe. The train stopped and Izuku moved Todoroki away before walking hard to his apartment.

He didn't get to do that; he didn't get to effect Izuku all the time; he wasn't allowed to make it seem so easy. Izuku took the stairs to his floor, hearing the longer footsteps of Todoroki following behind him. He panted once he hit his floor, definitely feeling he was out of shape, but also knowing his heart was hammering for other reasons. He took steps to his hall and turned a corner to find Todoroki already there. Izuku flinched, muscles tensing, but looked down at the ground to pass him.

Todoroki reached out and caught his arm."Midoriya—"

Todoroki's door opened.

A woman, beautiful with long black hair and a curvy figure, walked out with a cat cradled on her shoulder.

"Shouto! Finally," she sighed.

Izuku's hand twitched. She said his first name casually.

Todoroki let go of Izuku's arm and walked up to the women. He began to pet and nuzzling the cat. "What are you doing here, Momo?"

"What, you never want to see your cat? I'm surprised she can miss someone as ungrateful as you."

"We have a similar nature," Todoroki gave a small smile and Izuku slipped to the side, a distasteful aching sitting in his stomach. "Dabi, you've gotten really fat."

"Since you're similar, doesn't that mean you're fat too?"

"Shut up," Todoroki asserted with a light tone.

Izuku fumbled with his keys as he heard the cat's name, twisting his head to look at it more closely.

Todoroki noticed his gawking and tried to seek him out again, "Midoriya—"

Izuku twisted his head to jam the key into the lock properly. He didn't want to hear it. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night!"

Izuku opened his door and shut it hard behind him. He leaned against the solid wood, letting it take his entire weight, and pressed a scarred hand against his eyes to pry away the image of Todoroki smiling so sweetly.

Dabi. It was the same cat as eight years ago. And that woman was holding it. That had to be her, the 'super gorgeous' fiancee; and she truly was. No matter what he said on the train, his interactions with her was enough to make him forget it.

Izuku shook his head and unloaded his bag and stripped for a shower. The cold water on his skin made him forget about any of the hot rolling in his abdomen.

—

The next week rolled easier than Izuku expected.

As head editor, Todoroki was always busy between managing multiple authors, phone meetings, proposal meetings, or media discussions; many of which could take him outside the building. It was only when he was in the office Izuku had to turn his head to avoid eye contact, hop off the elevator to avoid being alone, or take breaks at different times so they're always in a public eye. He was probably being too obvious, but anything to prevent more uncomfortable conversations.

Izuku came home late one night, stripping his coat at the door, when he noticed a blinking on his fax machine. A stack of illustrations were printed on the tray. His author must have finished her storyboard after he left the office. Izuku scrambled to find a decent editing pen, wondering if he should start with pencil first, before tossing reason to the wind and picking up his work notes to cross-reference his process.

He worked for an hour and a half, reading through it five times with arrows, notes, and 'x's scattered across the pages. It looked more official than he thought. He might be able to do this. Though he still had to check it through Todoroki.

Izuku fretted at the hour. It was close to midnight, and he wondered if he should wait until the morning, but that would mean the author had less time to call back before starting her final draft. He paced in front of the fax machine, papers clasped in his hands, then he remembered he had Todoroki's home fax number. He could deal with it from there.

He only faxed about three pages before his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"I live next door. Bring the storyboard here," came the stern glowered voice of his boss.

Izuku darted eyes around his home. "Uh, I'd—rather not?"

"Then I'm coming to yours," Todoroki asserted.

"Ok, fine! I'm coming."

Izuku took his time dragging himself to Todoroki's door. He even knocked as quietly as he could.

Todoroki answered, glanced down at the manuscript, and gestured for it. "I only accept the best in my department, so I hope you looked it over thoroughly."

_All _Izuku did was prepare for this one author; if anything he might have over edited. He handed over the stack and Todoroki waved him inside.

Todoroki's home was very neat— maybe even a little sparse. He had several shelves of books in the sitting room, but only a coffee table and a long sofa otherwise. The layout to the kitchen and bedroom were similar to Izuku's but when Izuku peaked in the kitchen there was hardly anything on the counters besides mail and what looked like manuscripts. He wondered if Todoroki cooked often, or maybe someone cooked for him.

Todoroki sat on his sofa and Izuku glanced around. "Is…that girl not here?"

"What girl?" Todoroki asked, already nose deep in the storyboard.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

Izuku walked around as Todoroki checked his work, too nervous to sit. He checked one of the many shelves of books and was pleasantly surprised at the many hardbacks of novels rather than manga. He recognized many of them being his favorites. There was one longer series by an author called Ragdoll and Izuku plucked out a book to look at the summary.

"That was written by Tomoko Shiretoko. She tried a new pen name to play around for a bit. It became popular, of course."

Todoroki stood from the couch and walked next to him. Izuku's eyes sparkled. "Shiretoko! I haven't heard her name in years!" He held the book more reverently and caressed the spine. "Oh my god, I can't believe I'm holding something she made and I never knew about it. She was my favorite writer in year ten! Did you ever read the Wild Cats series? Her world building is phenomenal, I even looked up novellas and interviews and made a notebook—"

"Midoriya."

Izuku stopped and fiddled with the book in his hand, brows furrowed at the ground. "S-sorry. That's not important right now. I shouldn't have even been looking, that was rude." He almost forgot how overexcited books made him, it was almost embarrassing when he couldn't build the same reaction for manga.

Todoroki held himself still, not saying anything and watching Izuku fidget. Izuku wasn't sure if he was annoyed or impatient. It was late after all. Izuku put back the book and cleared his throat. "So? How—how did I do?"

Todoroki's eyes darted to the papers and back as if forgetting he held them. "I fixed some corrections. On the second page, you constricted the author too much by getting rid of her humor. You said it wasn't plot relevant but she needs space for her world to breath, and for readers to engage with the characters. There were also a couple panels from page four through eight that needed to be rearranged." He handed the papers to Izuku to look over. Izuku stepped around to sit on the sofa. "You've obviously got the basics down, but it's too mechanical. Too perfect."

Too perfect? What did that mean? Izuku sighed and couldn't help but admit the storyboard was much smoother and cleaner under Todoroki's corrections. He would have to look it over himself tonight even after he sent it to the author.

He stood from the sofa."Thank you so much for helping me so late. I'll send it off right now."

Todoroki reached out, catching his arm. "Midoriya. Wait." He wasn't looking at Izuku, instead, he was looking far away, brows cinched, where Izuku couldn't see. "Did you really never recognize me before I told you my name?"

Izuku's chest hammered. "N-No."

"Was it a lie then?" His hand squeezed Izuku's arm, but it wasn't painful. "That you loved me before?"

Izuku wanted to lie— to spat it in his face, maybe— that he never fell in love with him. That Todoroki was no blight on his life. But it was too great a lie, and he trembled under the grip.

Todoroki continued, "I know you _said _you loved me a lot, but I have every reason to doubt you. You hardly looked at me, flinched before every kiss, were too soft spoken. And now you couldn't even remember my face."

Was he really like that? Izuku couldn't remember. "Todoroki." His brows crumpled and maybe this was a moment he could convey how badly Todoroki hurt him. Maybe Todoroki would stop bothering him if he heard.

"If there's one thing I remember and I can say in confidence was how I was… ridiculously in love with you in high school. So much that I will forever regret it." Some measure of shame and embarrassment went through him at the words, something so inherently true he couldn't stop it no matter how hard he tried. He wouldn't be so angry now if it wasn't anything but love. His life wouldn't have been thrown upside down for years if it wasn't love. Perhaps it was exactly why he blocked out so much that it had to be love.

Todoroki's eyes shined up at him, his grip slacking on his wrist, and the measure of silence was insurmountable. Izuku was breathing hard as the air began to shift, charged and thick with something unnamed. He had to leave, Izuku knew this, but he was struck by his eyes, prodding his skin for unknown truths. He glanced at Izuku's mouth and unwanted flutters ran rampant in response. Izuku doesn't know what expression he made, what emotion slipped through, but Todoroki stepped forward and seized his mouth at the opportunity.

It was two quick kisses, one latching to Izuku's lower lip—a gasp— and then another seeking something longer and sweeter before Izuku was tugging away. "No! Wh-what are you doing?"

"You don't regret it, Izuku," Todoroki rumbled, a fierce fondness on his face. "My Izuku."

His mind buzzed whenever he said his first name, his legs activated like some Pavlovian reaction and became weak in an instant. "Y-you can't— "

Todoroki tilted forward for another kiss, taking advantage of Izuku's weak knees, and Izuku betrayed himself and let him. The heat of his hands pulling at his hips made him vibrate and the reverent swipes of his tongue left him winded. Izuku shook his head again, and the push was weaker.

He grasped at something to make him stop, any thought. "I-I have a girlfriend, so I don't want—"

"You don't kiss like someone who has a girlfriend." He spoke against Izuku's mouth and Izuku trembled. Todoroki's eyes were so bright and for once they almost looked the same color of an inky black. Todoroki softly kissed his cheek and along his jaw, sending bittersweet toxins into his skin. Izuku heard a thump on the floor and it wasn't until Todoroki was latching lips in the dip of his neck that he realized it was the storyboard.

Izuku should push him away, he _could _push him away, but the hands were so slow and sensual, so not forceful that Izuku swayed towards it. Todoroki pushed Izuku to the sofa and traveled a hand between his legs until it was pressing on his already growing bulge.

"Tell me you have a girlfriend again," Todoroki's tone was hoarse and amused. He was staring hard at Izuku's face as he rubbed against Izuku's pants. Izuku's voice hitched and he grasped at the fabric on Todoroki's shirt, tugging him closer as a hot flush ran to his roots.

Izuku ducked his head, facing away from Todoroki's face, and watched the hand teasing him outside his jeans. The distance between them was thick and warm, and Izuku didn't trust his legs to stand when Todoroki melted him so thoroughly.

With deft hands, Todoroki unfastened Izuku's belt and pulled out his cock. In two strokes it was at full hardness and Izuku shuddered, gasping, and gripped at Todoroki harder. Todoroki touched the back of his neck and angled for another deeper kiss, sensual and hungry. He moved and squeezed around Izuku's cock at the right spots, making Izuku pulse and twitch in his grip. Izuku was making unfamiliar noises into Todoroki's mouth and he played satisfied groans back to him. It was truly as if no time had passed, and Todoroki was playing him like a familiar song.

Izuku knew he looked a mess. Todoroki pulled back from the kiss to watch Izuku as he brought him closer to the end. His mouth was likely ruined and red, his hair bustled from the soft grip behind his head, and his shirt crooked. He wanted to curse Todoroki but he trembled instead and brought him closer.

Todoroki tilted his head forward until it rested in Izuku's hair, stroking his cock even faster.

"Look at you, Izuku," he breathed, kissing the top of his head. "So, so gorgeous."

Izuku groaned, bucking desperately into the last pulls that made him spill in moments. His chest rose with every gulp of air and the room fell back to equilibrium as the buzz faded from his mind. Tears prickled in his eyes.

"Are you satisfied now?" Izuku's voice cracked.

He felt Todoroki flinch and he tried to lift Izuku's head to look at him but Izuku slapped him away. He adjusted himself, tucking quickly and not really bothering with the buttons, and rose to leave. He stumbled to pick up the storyboard before rushing out the front door, barely hearing the shout of Todoroki to return.

Izuku dropped to the floor in his home and punched the wood, frustrated and satiated all at once. It was too much. Todoroki was too much.

He still had work to do, he still had to send back the storyboard, but everything was blurring around him. His body ached; points where Todoroki touched him were burning and mourning the loss. His world was spinning and it was all his fault.

This wasn't love, he reminded himself. For a long time, he vowed he could never feel love for Todoroki ever again.

* * *

A/N: This is so much more dramatic than I imagined or wanted it to be? But gotta move forward. I guess this story is a soap opera now? Lol

I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Please rip this to bits! Thank you!


	5. 312 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

A/N: YEE! Thank you so much for all the comments last chapter! It meant a lot, sincerely ;-; They settled my heart on the creeping anxiety that I lost control of the story haha but no matter what I had to push on.

Also lowkey burned out this week, so this chapter only took a day to write, but I waited to write it cause aagghh this isn't even halfway done yet and April is almost over. Extra thanks to all the comments, they made me finish today rather than later.

!EDIT!: This chapter was edited for clarity, narrative, SPaG, and some dialogue. However, the base story is the same and doesn't require a re-read ;))

* * *

Izuku's first official author was…young.

She was very soft spoken on the phone— Izuku practically buried the receiver into his ear to hear her— but talked with the candid politeness of a teenager. At first he assumed he was speaking to a relative until she repeated back her pen name, which was kept private to the company. He could understand why.

The second surprise followed his research into her previous sales with the magazine and to say she was popular was an understatement. Every magazine with her story consistently held higher sales and she only started publishing eight months ago. Her story dealt with two love interests not only divided by classism, but time and space, and ended on cliffhangers which starved readers for the next issue. It explored themes and handled tension expected of an adult author, not to mention the eye-catching art style.

Izuku didn't know if he was assigned this author because she was already consistent and successful, or because her personality would be the easiest for him to handle. Either way, he found her intimidating all the same.

"How is Eri doing on her first deadline?" Todoroki asked, walking from his seat and presumably off to some meeting.

Izuku looked up from his monitor. "I should have her storyboard by tomorrow. I talked to her this morning."

"Good," Todoroki said. Then he did that thing he'd been doing for three weeks now, where he opened his mouth and stood like a broken an intercom. When no words came forth, he cleared his throat and pivoted on his heel as if nothing happened.

Todoroki and Izuku hadn't talked about that night in his apartment. Unless it was related to work, they kept to themselves and Izuku was happy with that. He got Todoroki's approval to have his own author, having finished managing the last author without any hiccups, and Todoroki gave soft praise which _definitely _only made Izuku happy as a hard working editor. He also _definitely_ did not have to take cold showers near every night after the apartment incident or haul himself to the library more often to pick up books that were in no way related to romance.

Did he still have a phantom searing on his skin when he found a fading hickey on his neck? Could he still hear the whisper of Todoroki praising and moaning into his hair? He would deny it to his grave. He worked hard for those three weeks to drown it out and he was doing fine so far. There was nothing that needed addressing, they both got their feelings out and they would move on from that.

Izuku called Eri the next day. "Hello, it's Midoriya from Emerald. I'm just checking in about the deadline today."

There's wind pushing against the other end of the line, indicating she's outside. "Oh, hello. Yes, I've completed most of, ah—" Eri startled a small cry and there's a clatter on the other line, along with laughter from other young voices. Izuku listened intently but it was all mumbled— though the tone wasn't friendly and it put Izuku on guard.

"Eri? Are you there?"

Fabric brushed across the line like she had to adjust her phone, along with stammering as she replied. "Y-yes! Yes, I'm here. I will send everything tonight, don't worry. Good bye!"

"Ah, good"— the line dropped— "bye." Izuku creased his brows, staring at the phone. He looked across the table. "Ah, Kirishima."

Kirishima looked up from his laptop, his hair styled in an over the shoulder braid today. "Yeah?"

"Eri used to be your author, right? Do you know a lot about her life outside manga?"

"Hmm, not really. She was always on time and pretty intuitive with notes. I know she's in high school, but not much other than that. Why, something happen?"

"Uh, no!" Izuku rushed out. "Nothing. Thanks." Izuku settled back in his seat and shuffled through some emails. There was no reason to draw attention to Eri if nothing was wrong, and he didn't want to cause trouble if there was something wrong. He was just being paranoid.

Two days later, the paranoia grew. Eri called the office early in the morning, asking for his home phone because she wanted to go over notes after classes.

"I-I lost it. Sorry, I'm being useless—"

"This is nothing, Eri. I'll give it to you now. Never be afraid to talk to me. Even if we repeat the same conversation. Otherwise, I end up talking to books all day."

Eri gave a very small laugh, nervous and stilted. "Okay. Thank you."

Izuku rattled off the number and continued, "And really it can be about anything. Doing manga while being in school must be difficult. Feel free to tell me when you're stressed, I can help."

"No, it's, um, not a problem. I need to learn not to depend on people."

Izuku's brows pinched. "You can depend on me, that's what I'm here for."

"Yes, well—" The silence seemed to be charged as she stopped from saying something. A shout came from across the line and the silence broke. "Thank you for the number. I'll call you tonight."

Izuku knew he had to have faith in her, after all, she had a perfect track record, but he'd dealt with authors before Emerald. There was something Eri wasn't admitting.

It became a doubly unsettling day when he and Todoroki left at the same time and were squished in the corner of the train together. Izuku was against the doors with Todoroki framed around him like a shield and Izuku wondered if he should be grateful or annoyed.

"Still no troubles with your author?"

At least he still kept conversation to work matters. "Yes. Well, sort of. I think she might be having trouble with school but she isn't telling me. I'm not sure what to say." Izuku sighed.

"Maybe it's nothing."

"Maybe, but…it's just a feeling." Izuku peaked at Todoroki. "If you had an author who had personal issues, what would you say?"

"It depends. If they would be late on their work, I would say they need to finish or I'll smother them in their sleep."

"You shouldn't be saying that," Izuku deadpanned.

"But artists can be delicate people or tough-skinned. Saying something might make them worse. Our jobs is to bring out the best story, not to fix their lives."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." Izuku gave a weak smile but turned his head to look back out the window.

He could see Todoroki's reflection staring down at him. "You wear your emotions too close to your face."

Izuku bristled. Where else was he supposed to hold them? "You don't have to look."

"You care about your author, there's nothing wrong with that. But you want to break down their walls on the first cycle without earning their trust first." His eyes softened against the window pane, or maybe they were blurring with the background. "The fact you're reaching now is enough. Just be patient."

Izuku's stomach tingled, a soothing wave hitting his shoulders and dripping to his toes. Izuku huddled closer to the door, the cold metal bleeding through his coat, as warmth built in his cheeks. He blamed it on too many people being on the train.

For two more weeks, Izuku didn't worry about Eri, taking Todoroki's advice and staying at a reasonable distance when he called her. He was sure he really did worry for nothing.

Until the day of the deadline arrived and it all went to shit.

Todoroki was shouting over his shoulder and the end of the cycle bled its customary thick miasma across the office while Izuku was still waiting for his final manuscript from Eri. She updated him just four days ago about being ahead of schedule, but the printers were waiting with just several hours to spare. When he saw her name on the phone ID, he answered it immediately and hoped she would announce her arrival downstairs.

"I-I'm so, so sorry," came the shaky voice over the phone. "I was done, I finished, but something happened— I'm on the train now—"

"Hold on, slow down, Eri." Izuku swirled in his chair to glare at Todoroki who quieted down but certainly continued to look menacing. "You're on the train here? The manuscript is finished?"

"It's—well, its—" She was sniffling and wouldn't continue. "I had to start over. The original was ruined. But I'm almost done! I'll be finished by the time I arrive."

"From the beginning? Since when? How long?"

Eri paused considerably. "Since we last talked."

Izuku's heart broke. He knew she was a fantastic author, her work was always perfect quality, but finishing a twenty-eight-page spread in four days was ridiculous. And he was sure she didn't have assistants to help. He would have to tell Todoroki, they would need a replacement.

He glanced at Todoroki's impatient stare, felt the pressure of his author's popularity for this issue, the pressure of so few hours to truly get out a quality piece that Todoroki would approve, Eri's belief she couldn't depend on anyone—

"Ok, I'm going to meet you halfway," Izuku spoke back into the phone. "I'll text you the details." He ended the call and swiftly packed all his materials in his briefcase.

"She's not going to make it." Todoroki didn't even need to guess.

"Allow me to get it done. It'll be here on time," Izuku urged.

"Todoroki!"

Izuku jumped at the tight voice of Iida coming into the office. He liked to pop in now and again, especially at the end of cycles to check on the department's progress. Izuku wasn't sure if Iida just enjoyed antagonizing Todoroki or because he had a genuine quirk for micromanaging.

"Who's in charge of Eri's manuscript? The printers haven't received it and it's a huge selling point for this month."

Todoroki looked more annoyed at Iida's prodding but glanced at Izuku. Iida turned on him immediately and it sent chills down his back.

"I-It'll be here on time. I'm on my way to retrieve it now."

"You won't make it," Todoroki asserted. "She left from Saitama, which is four hours away. We have seven hours before the printers need it and we still have to proofread and it has to run through me. I'm not allowing sub-par—"

"She isn't sub-par! I said I could help her!"

Todoroki's jaw flexed, clearly stopping from saying something. "These things happen, Midoriya. We have to be reasonable."

Izuku realized what it looked like, but he took pride in his work, and he wouldn't let Eri down with a false promise. "I can guarantee I'll have the full manuscript on time in seven hours. I'd bet my position on it. Just let me do this."

Izuku stared imploringly at Todoroki. He knew it sounded emotional and ridiculous to offer his career on one chapter, but he didn't know how else to convince him. It was his first author, they could blame it on poor experience, and give him a pass, but Izuku refused to take the easy route. Todoroki stared at him hard, chewing around the pros and cons, before his mouth and brows softened, resigned.

"Fine."

Iida's face clamped, flabbergasted. "Todoroki! This is the time for backups not—"

"I'll take full responsibility if anything goes wrong."

"Thank you so much!" Izuku bowed and took his opportunity to leave for the train station before Iida decided to stop him. His lungs burned jogging to the station and his legs wouldn't stop jostling as he waited to arrive at the midway stop. He called Eri and found her waiting at the station's cafe, inking one of the pages.

She was _definitely _young. She was a sophomore at the latest and her hair was a long, lovely blonde. Her cheeks were a bit flushed and her eyes were red around the rims. Izuku's heart clipped. He gave his biggest smile and sat across from her.

"It's nice to meet you face to face."

"Uh, yes! Of course." She gave a weak tilt of her lips which wobbled at the edge. She used part of her sleeve to wipe at her face, which Izuku pretended not to see.

"I brought my supplies. Luckily I've been in this situation before." Izuku grinned.

"I thought you were a new editor?"

"I am, but authors being late is more common than you think. I trained with really strong spirits."

"I wish I could become stronger," she said quiet and meek. "So I won't be so careless and let this happen again." She seemed to be tearing again and leaned back in her chair so droplets didn't hit the page.

"It wasn't your fault. Accidents happen—"

"It wasn't an accident," she sobbed. "I was stupid and careless and useless as always. Every single page was ripped from my bag, thrown in my face, and they said I wouldn't amount to anything. That it wasn't worth the time."

Izuku flexed his hand, the frantic confession unsettling. A harsh burn of anger sat in his chest. "If your work wasn't worth it, I wouldn't be here," Izuku asserted.

"You don't have to be nice—"

"My boss told me to let you go this issue."

"What?"

Izuku mentally flinched, knowing it was probably too straightforward but it was the truth. "I was told not to take your manuscript today because you were late. This is my first project as a manga editor. I should've said yes." Eri's shoulders wilted and she glanced at the table. "But I didn't. Because I'd have to be blind not to see how amazing, deserving, and enchanting your story is. That Emerald is lucky to have your hard work. So I ran down here and you will make it on time. No matter what, I will help you."

"You…really mean it," she said, disbelieving.

"Right now, my boss is waiting for me to bring back your manuscript even though there are hundreds of others because he also knows you're worth it. Your classmates don't have to see your worth because we already do. Thousands of readers do, every month. Right?"

Eri sniffled, her sleeve surely saturated, but there was a radiance to her eyes that overshadowed the previous panic. "Thank you, Midoriya."

—

Izuku plowed through the doors to Emerald to find Iida, Todoroki, and a man from printing in a frazzled panic.

"I'm sorry! I have it!" Izuku exclaimed.

Todoroki leafed through the finished manuscript, a mild intensity marring his face."You proofread it?"

"Three times!" Izuku confirmed.

"A final check? Blueprints?"

"Five times after that on the train! Yes!"

Todoroki handed it off to the man from the printers who gave a half-hearted glare to everyone in the room before scurrying off. Izuku tried to catch his breath for a moment, his life leaving him from the soles of his shoes. He turned to Iida and Todoroki who looked at him with varying degrees of severity. Izuku fell into a bow.

"I'm sorry. It was my carelessness that set this back. I realize my mistake and it won't ever happen again."

When he rose, Iida's expression was weary and he scratched the back of his head. "I'm grateful to know he can apologize. Not from your tutelage, I'm sure."

"Please just go home," Todoroki waved at Iida, walking back to his desk to sit down.

"You need to go home, too. Yaoyo informed me she was waiting downstairs."

Todoroki sighed. "Now? I need to double back with the printers. I won't be done for another hour. Tell her to wait."

"She feeds you and your cat, drives you home, and overlooks your terrible personality. The least you can do is spend time with her on a Friday night. The printers can handle their work unlike—"

"Fine, fine. I'm leaving," Todoroki cut him off, making a show of gathering papers from his desk. Iida gave a satisfied nod before leaving through the front door.

An awkward air obstructed the room and Izuku fiddled with his bag. Izuku was so stressed about finishing on time, which he barely accomplished, he forgot Todoroki had put himself on the line for Izuku's rash action. If Izuku didn't make it, somehow didn't do enough...He put the magazine at risk, put Todoroki's name at risk, he was reckless and too soft for this job and he knew Todoroki was thinking the same—

"Hey."

Izuku raised his head, shoulders rigid.

"It wasn't your fault, was it?"

Izuku blew out a quick breath, his brows knitting together. "Ah, um, what do you mean?"

"You're not careless. I've been watching you, I know you were more than ready to get Eri, of all people, to finish on time. But your intuition was right and something beyond your control made her mess up."

"It was reckless to try—"

"You were determined. You didn't hesitate after she called and when you're like that, it feels stupid to bet against you. It's one of the many things I've always admired about you."

A frightening softness cut across Izuku's chest, fluttering and throbbing in a euphoric rhythm. Izuku couldn't look at him, darting eyes to the ground and trying to calm his treacherous heart. Todoroki picked up his coat and briefcase in one arm and passed Izuku to ruffle a hand through his hair. "The magazine is going to be published, so there's nothing else to think about. You did great."

The touch was heavy like it seeped through the fibers of his hair and once it was gone a part of him was missing. The quiet praise from Todoroki broke through him and he didn't want it. He thought distancing themselves was right but it just made each moment sweeter. He didn't want to be broken down anymore, he couldn't handle it.

Izuku drifted to the lobby downstairs, too tired to go fast and wanting to stagger trains with Todoroki, but ducked a corner when he saw Todoroki hovering near the glass doors. Shoot, was he waiting for him? Izuku peaked the corner and found Todoroki next to a curvaceous figure and suddenly it hit him.

Yaoyo. That name was vaguely familiar when Iiida mentioned it; and with her hair up in a ponytail, Izuku remembered.

Momo Yaoyorozu, the heiress to a high-class chain of restaurant owners and Izuku's old classmate, played with Todoroki's lapel and playfully pinched his cheeks. Todoroki swapped it away but clearly smiled brightly in a rare showcase. It stabbed harshly in Izuku's chest.

Yaoyo and Todoroki were friends in high school, Izuku even got to know her a little bit before their breakup. They weren't on a first name basis which is why he didn't recognize her the first time. Though he could hardly say he had a good memory on anything from so long ago.

He did remember thinking Yaoyo liked Todoroki when they were in school and he was always a tad jealous of their close friendship. Even when Todoroki started dating him, he thought she would steal him away, having many good qualities he could never hope to achieve.

Now they were engaged. Of course, they were.

A harsh voice in the back of his head taunted him, wondering if Izuku could've been in her place, if things were different.

Izuku swallowed around his tight throat and gripped his briefcase. He marched across the tile floors and kept his eyes on the revolving doors, pretending he couldn't see the relaxed joy on the couples' faces. At the corner of his eye, he thought Todoroki caught sight of him, taking a step away from Momo to follow him, but Izuku rushed through the door and ticked it off as his imagination.

He barely took a whiff of smoke and yakitori mingling in the late night air when he pivoted to the left and saw cropped brown hair looking down at her phone.

"Uraraka?"

She looked up and beamed. "There you are! Wow, manga is no joke. I didn't think you'd be this late."

"What are you doing here?" Izuku asked.

Uraraka latched onto his arm in a sideways hug. "We planned to go out drinking for your first author! Did you forget?"

Ah, he did.

He kept Uraraka updated on work the last few weeks, as promised, and she told him they would celebrate today since it fell on a Friday. Obviously, he didn't anticipate his extremely long day. He was ready to say no, but then the brief image of Todoroki going out tonight with his fiancee bled to the forefront and suddenly going home felt like the worst idea.

"Alright, sure. I guess the alcohol will help me sleep."

"That's the spirit!"

Izuku wrinkled his nose into an awkward snort.

"Hey, Midori—"

Izuku jumped when Todoroki's voice hovered behind him. He was sure he'd leave immediately with Yaoyorozu.

"Yes?" Izuku asked when Todoroki just stood there. Todoroki didn't respond, his gaze locked on Uraraka clutching Izuku's arm. A shadow grew under his brows. "Ah, this is Ochako Uraraka. 'Rara this is…my boss, Todoroki Shouto."

Uraraka's eyes lit up and her grip on his arm increased. Todoroki tensed. "It's an honor to meet you! _Izuku _tells me he's learning a lot in your department."

"Yes, he's doing…well." From the detached glower on his face, one wouldn't think he meant that.

"Did you need something, Todoroki?" Izuku asked. Izuku looked around and found Momo farther down the street and waiting outside a car, looking down at her phone. Izuku couldn't imagine what was so urgent when Todoroki could as easily visited him at home the next day.

"No, it's—not important. Have a good night." Todoroki was quick to turn his heel and Izuku watched him talk to Momo, who touched his arm and leaned close. A soft burn hit his chest like a passing flame.

"I can kind of see why you would be conflicted."

Izuku whipped his head at Uraraka. "W-what? What conflict? There's no conflict."

"He not _my_ type, but he's the kind of attractive that makes a bad personality totally worth it. Plus did you see how jealous he was? He was kind of adorable."

"He wasn't jealous," Izuku grumbled. "Just…I dunno. Moody."

"Yeah right. If I made that face every time I was moody, I'd be convicted every time I entered the office."

Izuku rolled his eyes. "What happened to getting drinks?"

"Right, yes! We have an appointment for inhibition removal."

It'd been a long time since Izuku went out for drinks. To be more accurate, it'd been a long time since Izuku got drunk. He'd always been the responsible one, watching as Uraraka gladly removed her inhibitors and said what she would usually say but louder; but this time they did it together and he forgot how it was always a terrible idea for him.

They luckily chose a bar closer to Izuku's home, since Uraraka evolved as a high functioning drunk who could order a cab, and Izuku was dropped off at his apartment before she got a ride home. He stumbled out of the elevator doors, hearing a constant tinkling sound which he realized was the same vibration from his chest as he laughed at his terrible balance. Izuku fumbled into his pocket to find his key and promptly dropped it on the floor.

He tittered again and dipped to pick it up when a door suddenly opened to his right and Todoroki was there with wide eyes and a tense jaw. Izuku blinked up at him, halfway bent to pick up his keys then smiled widely.

"Todoroki~!"

Todoroki looked down at him, blinking, before Izuku realized he couldn't bend over and keep his balance. Todoroki lunged forward before he hit the ground.

"Woah, you're fast! Were you always so fast?" Izuku breathed next to his face.

Todoroki stared at him, tired. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Of course! That's what happens when you drink a lot. And I drank _a lot_."

Todoroki sighed, or grunted, Izuku couldn't keep everything straight but it didn't matter. "Right. Let's get you to bed."

"Nooo~," Izuku whined as Todoroki lifted him from his low angle. Izuku put more weight so he went towards the ground. "I need my key, my key! I can't stand up yet—"

"Midoriya. _Midoriya, _be careful!"

Todoroki tugged Izuku upwards, but Izuku's opposite momentum stumbled them backwards towards the side wall so Izuku fell into Todoroki's chest. Izuku heard a soft bang and Todoroki was rubbing the back of his head, eyes shut and groaning.

"Todoroki! I'm so, so sorry! You poor baby, I should kiss it better. Or get a bandaid!"

"Please, don't do either." Todoroki forced out, eyes still shut but one hand blindly found Izuku's wrist that was petting his hair. Izuku didn't realize he was doing that. It felt really nice.

Todoroki breathed through his nose as he calmed down and Izuku found some peace with the cold air and leaned against Todoroki like a pillow, where his head rested on his shoulder.

Todoroki didn't push him away, and Izuku thought he would and felt better that he didn't.

"I'm—sorry, Izuku."

"Hm? Why?" Izuku whispered, at least he hoped he was whispering.

"I can't— I messed up. I lost control last time. I wasn't—_thinking_." Todoroki's thumb slid across Izuku's wrist and it made him shiver. "I'm sorry because I can't regret my feelings, that I might do it again. I couldn't even apologize before now because—" He gave a self-deprecating laugh. "To think you actually had a girlfriend. I'm the worst."

"Hm? No, I don't."

"You don't?" His eyes snapped opened and he stared down at Izuku, a relief underneath the raised brows. "Who was that girl earlier?"

"Girl? Umm," Izuku lifted his head from Todoroki's shoulder. "Oh, 'Rara! Didn't I introduce you? She's my friend. One of the best. I tell her everything."

"Everything."

Izuku laughed. "You're making that moody face.'Rara said it's your jealous face, but I don't think so."

Todoroki's mouth twitched. He looked amused and Izuku made him that way. His chest swelled.

"You have a beautiful smile," Izuku couldn't stop from blurting, having no reason to say it but not making it any less true.

Todoroki looked confused for a moment before he let go of Izuku's wrist and made a slow motion to grab his face. It was almost as if he was asking permission from an untamed animal, moving in slow gestures. Izuku smiled, enjoying the warm hands on his wind kissed face.

Something broke and soft lips moved forward to swallow him. Izuku's eyes widened, staring at the tender expression of Todoroki pressing gentle lips against him. The kiss doesn't last long, slightly sour from alcohol with a hint of something salty, and Todoroki looked down at him with as much an indecipherable stare as ever.

"Izuku—"

"No," Izuku whispered, shaking his head and feeling like he was remembering something and it rose in him. "No!" His hands thumped against Todoroki's chest and he shook his head. "You're not allowed to do that. You don't— don't get to play with me, again."

"I'm not—"

"You _are," _Izuku growled. "You have Yaoyorozu, you're dating _her. Marrying her. _I heard it from work, I remember her from school, so don't lie to me. You're just my boss but you always want to make a mess of things and it's _so hard._" Izuku's breath felt short but he ignored it because it felt like he had to talk. He had to talk now or he was going to suffocate.

"I'm always so _frustrated. Irritated. _Why is that? Why won't it stop?" He's bunching a hand into Todoroki's shirt, not feeling it at all as iron strings are tumbling in his chest. "I'm—_ashamed. _I shouldn't want certain things. I should hate you. But I'm just…annoyed most of the time and I don't know why and it won't go away—"

A firm grasp untangled his hand from Todoroki's shirt and Izuku rose his head with weary blinks. Dazzling colors are harshly devoted to gazing at Izuku, carving a marker on him, pinning him down. Todoroki tilted his head and lips were on Izuku again. The kiss was harder this time, insistent, and Izuku melded into it, knowing it meant nothing and maybe that was ok for once. Then Todoroki pulled away, looking at him with blown irises and plump lips.

"Don't you think I'm frustrated, too? I see someone I like enter my office every day and I have to keep it professional? It's…impossible."

Izuku blinked at him, his vision clearing a bit and seeing Todoroki more clear than before. He was heaving and breathing Izuku into him, locked on Izuku like the world could burn around them but nothing would stop him from keeping his attention.

"Don't…tempt me so much." Todoroki's voice broke, sounding wrecked against the crisp silence of the night. "And don't underestimate my feelings."

Izuku's heart leapt and then it was being devoured.

Todoroki lifted Izuku to stand and picked up the dropped keys. He didn't use them and instead entered back into his apartment and pulled Izuku inside with him. He turned and dipped his tongue to enter Izuku's mouth and Izuku opened up to him. His body didn't want to fight it and nothing was coming in clear. Todoroki kissed lower, pulling clothes and setting fire to his skin, and Izuku could barely breathe through it all let alone form a thought on why he should stop.

"Do you understand, Izuku?" Todoroki mouthed next to his ear.

"What?" Izuku puffed, trying to focus on language while at the same time wanting to buckle under the thigh sliding between his legs.

"How can I be with Momo, when I'm still clearly in love with you?"

Todoroki pulled at Izuku's clothes and dragged him down the hall while stealing more kisses around his face. Izuku chased him like a drug, satiating the buzzing under his skin. Todoroki led them through his bedroom and tossed him back onto the bed. Izuku almost laughed at the fast motion before it withered into a gasp as Todoroki tugged as his pants, took out his cock, and took him in one gulp.

Izuku grasped the soft strands of Todoroki's hair, bunching it in encouraging grips, and bucked. Todoroki bobbed on his cock, again and again, burrowing his lips to the base on occasion, then pulled back to suck hard on the head. Izuku moaned and Todoroki would vibrate a noise back, which encouraged even stranger noises. Todoroki clearly had a love of making Izuku react. He repeated the sucking motion multiple times and even teased the slit leaking with precum and Izuku keened even louder.

"Please, please, please," Izuku chanted, not knowing what else to say or think. All he could do was desperately grip Todoroki's head and listen to the slurps and sucks echoing across the room when his own noises didn't drown it out.

Todoroki eventually pulled off and went to stroking Izuku. It slapped hard as he tugged fast and made his balls bounce. Izuku knew he was close.

"Izuku, come on. You're so close. Come with me, Izuku," Todoroki gasped, and of course he did.

Todoroki tugged and squeezed him dry and Izuku was worn. He closed his eyes for a moment, the buzzing under his skin went straight to his head and urged him to sleep and the room grew even darker. The last thing he felt was a soft, wet pressure against his temple.

—

Chirping and bright light filtered behind his lids and Izuku stretched languidly in his bed. The sheets felt extraordinarily soft today and he wanted to nuzzle into them and sleep in for once. He deserved a good weekend of sleep, he didn't remember being this tired since early college. Izuku stretched out his arm, satisfied at the unwinding kinks responding back, and went to gather the pillows closer, but his hand hit something hard and warm. Did Izuku leave something in his bed? He could hardly remember getting home last night, so that shouldn't be a surprise.

He blearily opened his eyes to peek and soft tendrils of white poked from the pillow. Did he fray the pillow or something? Izuku raised his head a bit more and realized the white was hair attached to the well-built figure of his boss, sleeping peacefully next to him. Ah.

Izuku grunted and fell back down to the pillow.

Wait, what the fuck.

Izuku thrusted upwards to stare incredulously at his boss and the surroundings which was definitely not his apartment.

He held in every ounce of him that wanted to scream and curse. What did he do yesterday? He went out with Uraraka, _possibly _got drunk, and he didn't remember how he got home…He looked at his boss, his bare upper body creating attractive shadows in the morning light. They didn't—they _couldn't _have—

He looked down at himself, feeling a bit cold as the blankets fell to his waist, and found himself in only boy shorts.

That's when he started yelling.

"What the hell?" Came the grumbled reaction of Todoroki. "Stop shouting!"

"W-why—_how—_what am I doing in a bed with you?"

"You fell asleep." Todoroki sat up slowly, bed head sticking in one direction and looking pretty well rested. He yawned behind his hand.

"But why am I—we didn't—"

Todoroki got more comfortable as he stared at Izuku. He can undoubtedly feel Todoroki observing his chest and it made a lot of things constrict and Izuku raised the sheets to cover himself.

"What if we did?"

Izuku fisted the sheets and raised his lip, indignantly. "We didn't!" Izuku jumped out of the bed and looked for his clothes, which were draped on a nearby chair. "Thank you _very _much for stripping me and letting me sleep here. It was honestly too kind."

"No problem."

Izuku stifled the urge to punch Todoroki or throw a nearby book at him and was out the front door faster than he let his imagination fill in the blanks.

Unfortunately, he forgot his bag and keys, wherever those were and went to stalk back into Todoroki's bedroom where he was holding out Izuku's bag.

Izuku swallowed his pride and swiped it.

"You really don't remember last night?"

Izuku chewed the inside of his lip, considering if he should lie. "Not really."

Todoroki sighed, brows contorted to irritation. "Fine. I'll just say it again." Todoroki stood from the bed and Izuku wanted to shield his eyes in case he was entirely naked but Todoroki pulled him forward to land a messy kiss on his cheek. Izuku froze under the gesture and stared wide-eyed.

"I'm going to make you say you love me again, Izuku."

Izuku shook on the spot, feeling the earth shift under him like a rug.

"I promise." Then his mouth pulled in a sly smirk and the world righted itself again.

Izuku pinched his lips and shoved at Todoroki who didn't look shocked at the motion. Izuku retorted, "Hell. No."

He marched out the front door and fumed that he would pity the person to ever fall in love with such a smarmy bastard.

* * *

A/N: Why do these chapters keep getting long. I dont…I don't get it lol

I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Please rip this to bits! Thank you!

EDIT: I decided to be reckless and I'm pinch hitting for a Merlin Big Bang, so this story will be on hold for a month. Sorry in advance!


	6. 282 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

A/N: AYYY! And we're back! Alright, imma be honest, after writing my other story, I'm mad at how I'm executing this one. In my head, I love it to death, its amazing and adorable and sexy fun. But the writing is not to my standards, the characterizations not matching the ones in my head, and yeah I've been screaming at the screen a bit LOL So I'll try to finish the story fast, but considering my frustrations I might write another at the same time. Just a heads up for the wonderful people who still enjoy it and hoping I post at the same rate as before. I appreciate you all lots and lots :))

* * *

_(Eight Years Ago)_

Izuku read a wide range of books: science fiction, autobiographies, garden guides, poetry, history. Anything bound between two covers, containing immeasurable hours of blood and ink from the author and editors left his heart racing and muttering under his breath about the grace and diligence of their works. He was like this since he could remember and it didn't make him many close friends, or any at all. But when he had so many voices speaking in his head, he never noticed an absence in friendship.

Then he started dating Saga.

Saga filled his head most days before they dated, but now he was a stream of consciousness. He thought about his interests, what he thought of Izuku, what they could do together, ways to make him smile and laugh. Izuku didn't read less books, he only lost a few hours a day with the time he spent with Saga, but as he became more interested in their relationship, the genre of books he found himself rifling through changed. Books he was surprised to find opened to the public and left him huddling in the darker corners of the shelves for hours. Books that unfortunately fueled his dreams and left sticking evidence along his briefs in the mornings.

It had been a month since Izuku and Saga kissed—among other things—in his bedroom, and Izuku was becoming anxious about when they would go even _farther_. Izuku wanted it, the dreams were evidence of that, but he was afraid of ruining their relationship.

Sure, Izuku wanted to believe Saga liked him. That the kisses and the one hand job meant he considered going all the way one day but…Izuku hardly believed Saga _talked_ to him most of the time. Saga was gorgeous, popular, and probably had tons of experience with girls. To have sex with Izuku who was very much _not _a girl—Saga would be disgusted, realize he made a mistake, and never speak to him again.

But that was neither here or there, Izuku doubted it would happen anytime soon.

"Hey, let's go," Saga called to him at the school's front gates.

Izuku nodded, his long curls bouncing against his cheek. He really wouldn't mind getting his hair cut.

They were walking to Saga's home, something they did with relative frequency as Izuku didn't like the idea that Saga was home alone so often. He didn't ask about his Saga's mother, but her obvious absence lulled their conversations to a screeching halt if she was mentioned. Saga would never admit being lonely, but Izuku could see it; he could feel it when they held hands or how he stared blankly out the library windows. The small choice to sit in Saga's home for a few hours— even if it only made his life a little brighter—was a no brainer.

Saga was extra quiet today, staring forward at the road with his hands tightly clasped on his bag's strap. The street traffic and chirping birds were the only noise between them and it tightened like a string. They entered Saga's room as usual and Izuku dropped his bag next to the bed and began to pull out books and to do some homework. Maybe Saga didn't feel like talking today.

Saga immediately sat next to him and caught his hand, stopping him from taking out his textbook. Izuku jumped, casting the book to the floor, and flushed at his dramatic reaction.

Saga cleared his throat. "Izuku."

The sharp zing of pleasure every time Saga said his first name hadn't worn off. Heat already hit his cheeks and Izuku struggled to look directly at back at Saga. "Y-yes?"

His hand hadn't moved from the top of Izuku's and shifted to tangle them together, Saga stroking a thumb along the side. Izuku shivered.

"I've been wondering…have your feelings changed recently?"

Izuku stumbled on his tongue, finding the question unexpected, and shook his head violently. "W-w-what? No! Or, I don't think so. What do you mean?"

Saga squeezed his hand. "Maybe I'm…not what you expected. Is it because I'm male, or "— he paused—" something about me you can't stand the sight of? Why do you always struggle to look at me?" Saga's voice was ragged, hurt, and too quiet. Izuku snapped his head up, not realizing he even had looked away.

Saga's eyes were shining, as beautiful as they'd ever been, the black backdrop of his hair extenuating every smooth line and complexion on his skin. Izuku's eyes latched to the red on the side of his face, never considering it a blight or that Saga saw it that way. Izuku's throat constricted.

"No! How could you think that?" Izuku whispered harshly. "I can't look at you because…well, because you're _amazing,_ and handsome, and it feels surreal you even talk to me. When you're next to me, I don't know up from down. I'm just— so happy I'm even near you." Izuku's face was probably brimming red, but he forced himself to look straight at Saga. His feelings were real, he'd admitted them to himself a long time ago, and he felt like the luckiest person on the planet just to tell him his feelings.

Saga looked surprised, _honestly _surprised. Izuku almost couldn't believe it since he was an open book. Then Saga pushed the hair from Izuku's face, fingertips trailing electricity along his skin, and dove forward for a kiss. It was soft, wet, and insistent, and Izuku was slow to respond before Saga pulled back.

"Open your mouth more," he breathed and Izuku frantically nodded before they were kissing again, but the sweet taste of melon passed his mouth, tracing the outline of their lips until he dipped deeper and rolled their tongues together. Izuku squeaked a moan and fell fast to the heat in his stomach. Saga didn't hold back, opening his mouth wide as if to devour him. He rubbed broad circles around Izuku's chest and grasped behind his neck to pull him closer. Blood roared between his legs and Izuku knew he'd want so much more today if Saga knew, but he didn't have the courage to ask for more. He tried to back away so Saga didn't pull him too close and feel him bursting at the seams, but Saga was more enthusiastic.

Saga slid a grip to Izuku's waist and tugged him until he was forced to crawl into his lap. Izuku didn't have the heart to deny him, his head light and fluttery, and fumbled into a straddle. A hardness pressed back against Izuku's stomach, surprising him more than he'd like to admit, and Izuku was breathing hard against Saga's lips, a question on his face.

"I don't want to stop," Saga said, a deep desire saturating his voice. Izuku's hips twitched forward, tempted to grind them both to completion. Izuku was sure he was dreaming, it was the only logical explanation. His heart hammered against his ribs, and a blaze of pure desire sparked across his limbs.

Izuku slowly raised his hands and grasped both sides of Saga's face, reveling in the gift. "R-really?"

Saga responded with tender kisses on Izuku's eyelashes, light pecks around his ears, and a thumb across Izuku's cheeks in a jagged motion as if manifesting a constellation pattern. It was so sweet and torturous, Izuku shook. His hands trembled as he reached wrapped arms around his shoulders, the grip increasing in confidence the longer Saga played kisses on his face. He dipped a lick on Izuku's neck, who properly made a sharp wanton noise in reply. Saga's smile was felt against his skin.

"Is this a yes?"

Izuku couldn't have nodded any harder. Their clothes were strewn across the floor, noises were loud and delightful, and the trails of fire Saga blew across his skin with every lick or clasp of hands was sinfully indulgent. Saga loved to play with Izuku's chest the most and insisted that Izuku stay in his lap the entire time. He feasted on him like a high-class meal and made marks from clutching his skin as if Izuku would fly away.

Then Saga leaned towards his tableside drawer and pulled out a small bottle.

"A—a little more," Izuku interjected as Saga poured thick liquid onto his finger and capped the bottle. Saga blinked wide and Izuku slapped his hands onto his mouth. "I, might have, um—at least I think—" Izuku stuttered meekly, wanting to hide behind his hands.

"You researched about—?" Izuku nodded quickly not wanting him to finish the sentence. Saga gave a sly smile, pouring more onto his finger. "I did, too."

Izuku's head buzzed and he was so aroused he was drunk from it. He wouldn't be surprised if he cummed before being entered. Saga dipped forward, kissing softly. Sweat was tangible across their skin like sweet pollen as Saga pressed him closer and spread a cheek while sliding between his legs with the other hand, digging a finger slow and deep. He curled his finger, at first carefully as if exploring rather than stretching him until Izuku bucked sharply. Izuku insisted it was everything _except _painful, sitting farther into the finger to prove the point, then Saga curled his finger in the same spot with earnest.

He whispered against his ear the entire time, asking him if he was okay, asking him if he could take more, asking him how good it felt. Izuku was stuck in a loop, being pounded to torturous incoherence. Clenching around those fingers, asking for more each time, was an anchor and a torture.

Then Saga pulled out his fingers. He played tapping fingers along his sides, rubbing random patterns on his skin, and nuzzled his nose everywhere along Izuku's collarbone. It was playful and gentle and Izuku almost felt less nervous. In his mind, he even imagined Saga was savoring him.

Then he finally lined himself with Izuku, quickly slapping on a condom with more lube on top, and let Izuku control the entire descent. It burned right through his spine and held his breath captive until he was fully seated and Izuku almost collapsed from how _amazing _it felt.

Saga's breath was deep and husky next to his ear and he rubbed circles at Izuku's lower spine. Izuku was slow at first, and Saga hips only lifted the slightest bit, which encouraged him to go faster. It could've lasted ten minutes, it could've lasted hours, Izuku lost sense of anything that wasn't Saga burying inside him, smiling at him, saying his name— there wasn't a single thing about Saga that wasn't breaking him constantly. And he loved it.

He struggled not to say it, to babble how much he loved Shouto in that moment. How much he wanted nothing in the world for Shouto to love him back, and when he gazed up at Izuku, face contorted in pleasure and shining, he could pretend for a moment and that it was already true.

—

(Present Day)

"Why isn't anyone done with their manuscripts?" Izuku spoke around the twitch in his mouth.

This month Izuku was placed as the coordinator for the magazine. Todoroki assigned it to him so Izuku could learn the ropes on how the magazine was processed and managed, another important step in the manga publishing ladder. Izuku's job as the coordinator was to speak with the publishing department to find out the publishing date, create a deadline for manuscripts, and to collect all the manuscripts on time. He didn't think it was that difficult and thought he was being especially dutiful by reminding the department every few days for _weeks_ on the deadline date. Now the day was here and no one was prepared. Even better, they looked as relaxed as if it was a new cycle.

"My author needs a few more days," Aoyama ventured, flicking through a stack of papers.

"Katsuki said they'd be done by… Monday? Sorry, Midoriya." Kirishima at least had the politeness to look sheepish.

Izuku turned sharply to the head of the table. "Todoroki! You must be done at least?"

"I need at least four more days," he stated implicitly, not looking beyond his computer screen. Izuku huffed, incredulous, his shoulders falling forward. Wasn't this _his _magazine? What happened to smothering people who couldn't meet their deadline?

"I made Mirio start in advance, so he should be done today." Tamaki's voice echoed at the other end of the table and Izuku turned to him with startling relief.

"I should've known I could count on you, Tamaki." He beamed, walking to Tamaki's desk with stars in his eyes.

Tamaki flushed a bit. "Yeah, of course." The receiver on his desk rang and he answered with his more self-assured voice. "Ah, Mirio! How is—what? _What? _Why would you— can you stop cutting me off…_Fine_, I'm coming over." Tamaki slammed the receiver and all the wind left his body as he hauled from his desk and began gathering his bag.

"Everything ok?" Izuku asked.

"Sorry, Midoriya, the manuscript won't be done for a while. Maybe a week."

"_What_?" Izuku balked."What happened? Can I help?"

The crinkle between Tamaki's brows bowed sharply at some unforeseen point. "I need to settle some things with my author. It's personal. Sorry, again!"

Tamaki's steps echoed down the hall and with it Izuku's confidence. This had to be some sort of hazing. How could everyone look so miserable the last few cycles, but refreshed and cozy the moment Izuku is placed in charge? Did they expect him to collect the manuscripts alone? Were they not taking him seriously and secretly trying to get him fired? Not that Izuku wouldn't mind too much, the amount of stress he got on and off the floor was enough for a lifetime.

"You do realize the deadline is too early," Todoroki interjected.

Izuku turned to him, brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"When do we usually submit our manuscripts? Don't you think the printing office realized this was your first time coordinating the magazine? Did you even negotiate the date?"

Izuku bristled, clicking the facts into place. "Well, no. I trusted—"

"Wrong. You shouldn't have trusted them. Of course they'd want it earlier rather than later."

"Sorry," Izuku snapped back. "This was my first time doing this, its not like you warned me—"

"What do you think is the job of an editor, Midoriya?" Todoroki asked blandly. "It's to trick the author into finishing as soon as possible and make the printers wait as long as possible and achieving the best possible results. You are currently not doing your job."

Izuku's eye twitched. He really wouldn't mind being fired.

He huffed to his seat and glared at his monitor. Fine, he would have to call the printing offices today and reschedule, though he had no idea what he would say. It would be nice to have a boss that actually guided him, but Todoroki was always one for making things difficult.

After Todoroki's, 'I'll make you fall in love with me' declaration, Izuku still couldn't remember about the night before he woke up in Todoroki's bed, except that he must have been impossibly drunk. He refused to ask Todoroki anything about it because if it didn't happen, he would definitely lie and said it did. And if he was honest and they went all the way…Izuku didn't know what he would do with that knowledge. Though he couldn't deny finding the red marks splattered along his hip bones like some blooming constellation.

He rather hoped it was poison ivy.

Izuku's desk phone rang and it was Eri checking-in on her story.

"Did everything arrive okay?" Her feminine voice rang like the only angelic sound within a hundred miles. At least she came through for him.

"I received it this morning. Your fans are going to love it, a work of art," Izuku boasted.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done it without my editor though." He could hear the wobble of embarrassment, which was a remarkable preference from last month's situation.

A warm pride filled Izuku's chest and his voice lowered a bit too fondly. "As my only author, I think you're required to say that. I _do _give you all my attention."

"No, I'm serious! Your input is really refreshing and very encouraging! I've had two other editors so far and, I'm sorry if this is rude, but if I had to choose, you're definitely my top pick!"

Izuku's entire body froze and a hot flash shot up his chest to the top of his hair, and he stuttered, "O-oh, I'm not that great—or I'm not that good yet, though thank you for the compliment. I think you're just a fantastic author and I'm lucky so far, and I'd be honored to continue working with you. Not that I'm leaving anytime soon, I'm honored to be working with you now and I'm wishing you good luck, or both of us good luck, um—"

Eri laughed across the phone. "You're welcome, Midoriya. Don't work too hard. I'll speak to you soon!"

"Y-yeah, speak to you soon." Izuku put down the receiver, gawking at his desk.

Eri complimented him. _Earnestly. _He definitely wasn't at the standards of Todoroki or any of the other editors in the department, and he was currently struggling with the magazine, but an author was grateful to him. He was able to get an author that felt they could depend on him, to help them produce their best work. He smothered the smile already cracking across his face.

Izuku called the printing department later in the day and they completely chewed him to pieces. He was only able to get through it by thinking of Eri's encouraging words, but he lost the battle on the extension. They only gave him one more week and Izuku prayed that would be enough time for everyone else. When he cross-referenced the past schedules as Todoroki suggested, technically they were owed another nine days on top of the extension, but Izuku wasn't equipped to argue much farther.

After that, Izuku packed his bag for the day, finding his only responsibility was waiting for everyone else and assisting them in their process. When the doors opened to the elevator he was surprised to see Iida from sales. He hadn't visited the department since the end of the last cycle. He didn't seem to leave with the best opinion of Izuku, making him wonder if that was still the case.

Iida hesitated when he saw Izuku and he stepped back on the elevator with an appraising blink and held the door open as a gesture. "Ah, Midoriya! How fortunate. Allow me to ride down with you. Are you finished for the day?"

His straight forward enthusiasm was always a little shocking, so Izuku was slow to respond. "Ah, yes. My author is done for the issue so there wasn't much for me to do for today."

"So you've turned it around since the last issue. It's good to know you're adaptable!"

So he did think Izuku might be incompetent. Izuku chuckled awkwardly. "I'm trying my best. How is your department?"

"Impeccable as always, don't you worry. I've actually been meaning to speak with you. In regards to Todoroki."

Izuku smothered a smile, wondering if he would tell him to ward away from another one of Todoroki's editor habits. "Oh? What is it?"

Iida's expression morphed from polite enthusiasm to a sedate glower. "I think you should move out of your apartment."

Izuku's pulse jumped a beat, surprised. "Why, um," Izuku cleared his throat. "Why would you say that?"

"I know who you are, Midoriya. I may not have the authority to say whether you should be working at this company, but I know you're a distraction for Todoroki outside of work. You're no good for him."

Izuku never realized how broad and intimidating Iida could stand above him until he was staring him down from the brim of his glasses. If his words weren't already cutting a harsh corner through his chest, his eyes would be the final blow. "I think there's some sort of misunderstanding," Izuku tried to laugh it off, but it dried up under Iida's withering glower. He swallowed. "There's nothing going on between me and Todoroki. We're just co-workers."

"Admit it. You snaked your way into this company, _knowing _he was here—"

"I didn't—!"

"—and after he showed the slightest bit of interest, you moved in next door—"

"_Why _would I—!"

"—to follow him again, see how far you could go, giving him false hope and leeching your way through this job. Didn't you put Shouto through enough? What are you really trying to gain?"

Izuku was backed against the railing in the elevator, stepping away from every accusation. None of it was true, but the fierce conviction that Izuku was in the wrong, that he was honestly hurting Todoroki, made him feel small. He whispered earnestly, "You seem to have made up your mind about who I am, so I don't know what to tell you. There is nothing between me and Todoroki. I don't want us to _be _anything. If I could move out of that apartment tomorrow, I would. I swear."

Iida opened his mouth to say something else, but the phone in his pocket rang and Izuku took that chance to leave. Iida had pressed the emergency stop button at some point to prolong their conversation and Izuku jammed the button to hop off the earliest floor and walked the rest of the staircase to the front doors.

The ride home he felt increasingly exhausted. He collapsed on the hardwood floor of his entryway, piles of clothes and papers in boxes littered all over the floor, and let the cold seep through his skin. He didn't expect to be accosted by Iida. he didn't even know they were such close friends. If Izuku remembered right, Iida had mentioned texting Momo at the last deadline; that would explain his knowledge of their past. Izuku groaned. Was his life becoming more dramatic or was did it just feel that way because of the atmosphere of his new job?

Izuku rolled on his back and shielded his eyes with his forearm, the hard floor carrying the weight from his shoulders. Why was Iida even concerned with Izuku if Todoroki had Momo? Was he really protecting Momo or Todoroki, or both? Why should Izuku care?

Iida wasn't wrong, the simple solution was to stay away from Todoroki. He seemed to be the root of all his problems nowadays. Izuku just needed to be more firm.

The next day, Izuku was probably _too _firm. All morning he was tense from Iida's conversation and was ridiculously aware of Todoroki's location. It's not that he expected Todoroki to _jump_ him any second, but he had a way with sliding into his personal space and that glare from space that Iida sent him may have slipped into his nightmares.

So it was a bit of an accident when Izuku turned a corner, heading back from the mailroom, and Todoroki was a mere foot away and collided with Izuku to wrap an arm around his waist. Izuku tilted backwards but gripped the front of Todoroki's shirt to remain upright. His face was close to his cheek a slight buzzing ran between the air. Todoroki had only turned his head slightly, lips closer than they should've been, when Izuku reacted. He righted his feet and ducked his head to the right, grabbing the thumb of Todoroki's hand to twist it away. He found the bend of his knee and tapped it so Todoroki buckled and fell to the floor. Izuku huffed, chest close to bursting, then stared down wide-eyed.

"What the hell, Midoriya?" Todoroki exclaimed, subdued near the floor.

Izuku let go and bounded away. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! It was a reflex, but then again you shouldn't have tried to—but I was too rough and—"

"Where did you learn that?" Todoroki was rubbing at his arm but didn't look mad, just fascinated. Izuku flushed.

"Self defense…a college club for a couple weeks."

Surprisingly, Todoroki puffed a small laugh. "Self defense, huh?"

Izuku doesn't say anything, feeling slightly guilty but also awkward at the insinuation. So Izuku walked away as fast as he could, a burning gaze following him the entire way.

They didn't talk about it for a week.

—

Midoriya was sitting in the break room and bit into his karaage. The reheated steam simmered on his tongue, making him blow puffs of heat into the air and imagining all his problems could blow away with them. He really was in a bad situation.

No one was ready for the extended deadline, meaning Izuku had to attempt _another _extension, and it backfired quicker than he could get a word out. Izuku did nothing but nod and prostrate himself to the Printing Department over the receiver for ten minutes as his will left his body. The only reason the printers agreed the first time was because he had Eri's manuscript, a small mercy. Now he had nothing but excuses, and everyone pretended it was such a common occurrence to negotiate with the printers that it was Izuku's incompetence keeping them on edge. Izuku sighed.

He raised his chopsticks for another bite, but a hand stuttered the motion and lead it over his shoulder. Izuku snapped his head upwards to find Todoroki chewing a piece of his karaage, expression shining with pleasant surprise.

"That's really good. Where did you get it?"

"I…made it," he said inanely, caught off guard. He didn't want to admit he was a bit mesmerized by the satisfied tilt of Todorki's lips as he chewed. Izuku might be a bit soft when people complimented his food. "Wait, wha—what are you doing? That's my lunch."

"Do you always make your lunch?" Todoroki ignored him.

"As often as I can." Izuku had to admit this new job made his usual routines more difficult to maintain. He had to cut corners in other aspects of his life and maintain his most important. Good meals were at the top of the list.

Todoroki licked his lips and hummed before waving his fingers that held a folded piece of paper. "Then, think of it as payment." He tossed the paper onto the table and Izuku unfolded it to reveal a list of instructions under the title: "Negotiation tactics with Printing".

"I thought you weren't going to help me." Izuku narrowed his eyes.

Todoroki took the chopsticks out of Izuku's hands, which Izuku protested with a shout, and proceeded to take another bite from his bento. "I never said that. I just wasn't going to do the job for you."

Todoroki continued to take more bites before he decided it was more productive to take the entire box. "I'll return this to you later."

"What about my food?" Izuku yelled.

"I'll trade my lunch for yours."

"Coffee from the vending machine isn't lunch," Izuku deadpanned. It was obvious after a couple of months that Todoroki had the least balanced diet out of everyone in the department. He'd have prepared meals from the grocery store, juice packets, and tons and _tons _of coffee, either from the break room or from the vending machine. Not that Izuku was paying hard attention, it was just hard to miss when decent food was essential to his daily life.

"I have a bento. I just prefer yours."

"A store-bought bento?" Izuku grumbled.

"Not exactly," he waved his chopstick as if it would conjure a less vague response. "Do you want the slip or not?"

Izuku did need the help, and half his food was eaten anyway. "Alright. Thanks."

The tips from the sheet worked easily with the Printing Department. They extend the department to the usual deadline, unleashing most of the pressure from Izuku's shoulders. The bigger surprise was Todoroki's bento being a million times better than his own, filled with double the amount of food and sautéed in crisp sauces, and undoubtedly _not _store bought. It was even wrapped in a high-quality furoshiki with gold leaf patterns against a double-sided black cloth. Izuku left the office early, wrapping up the nice container to wash at home, and wondering at the weird shift of luck.

In another week the magazine was complete and Izuku was splashing his face in the men's restroom before heading out. It wasn't as bad as he imagined since he pressured every editor weeks beforehand, but he really thought he'd lose his head from the number of times he asked the question, 'Are you finished yet?' But he got through it, the magazine would run smoothly without a hitch. Izuku looked in his reflection, the slight strain from stress leaving him in water droplets and a small smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

A creek from the bathroom door echoed behind him and Izuku looked to the mirror to find the ominous glare of square glasses. Izuku's shoulders jumped and he pivoted on his heel. "I-Iida! Hi, how—"

"You have some nerve," he voiced with strained annoyance.

"I haven't done anything," Izuku defended.

"I may have said I don't have the authority to know whether you belong in this company, but rest assured I can make it a regrettable experience. As Todoroki's closest friend, I have every right to protect him."

"What are you talking about? I've barely talked to Todoroki all month."

"The bento? Hugging in the middle of the hall?"

Izuku gawked at him, eyes shifting across his face. "Are you really saying that as a friend?"

Iida bristled. "Excuse me?"

Izuku clamped his mouth and shook his head. "Nothing, sorry."

Iida's glare simmered down, less angry and more inquisitive. "I can see how Todoroki might think things are different now, but you didn't see him. The pieces Momo and I picked up for years, the changes he went through. I would do anything to not see him like that again."

Izuku nodded slowly, blinking around the images of Todoroki being broken in any way due to their past. Was it anything like Izuku's experience? Waking up in the middle of the night, broken and drenched in sweat, crying between classes as he ripped pages from books he used to adore, staring dead-eyed into the clouds, feeling his skin fray like silk along the edges and taking every memory with it.

"Yeah…I understand."

Iida adjusted his glasses and straightened from the ominous looming. "I'm glad we agree. Good work today."

He left as suddenly as he arrived, movements sharp and deliberate. Izuku dashed back to his desk to gather his things and head to the station.

He was doing well not thinking about Todoroki, taking any moment of kindness or flattery as platonic playfulness in an environment rife with stress. Then Iida had to plow the past forward, make Izuku think too much. Why was Iida so worried about Todoroki when he had Momo? Someone he clearly cared about, smiled sweetly around, and knew since high school. How long had it been since Todoroki and Momo dated, anyway? Was it immediately after Izuku left? Did Momo recognize him? Did she hate him, too?

All these questions he didn't want were swirling in his head and Izuku couldn't push them back. He didn't even have the right to ask them.

"Midoriya?"

Izuku snapped his head forward, staring at the glass doors outside the bottom of his apartment, and pivoted to find Todoroki right behind him. His pulse skipped. "O-oh, yes? Did you need something?"

Todoroki observed his face for a while, tilting his head to get closer to his height. "I was wondering if you wanted to come by and celebrate." He raised a hand, clasping a white shopping bag strained in a box shape. "For your first successful magazine."

It looked like a small cake, a nice one too, that you could get at a bakery in the city. He would've needed to purchase it earlier that day to have it now. Izuku shook his head. "No, sorry. I'm really tired."

Todorki's hand reached forward and Izuku froze. Todoroki stopped the motion then continued when Izuku didn't stop him, a light touch at his forehead that trailed down to his cheek; a smile tugged at the edges of his mouth. "No self-defense today?"

Izuku pouted with the heat scorching his cheeks. "It was an accident."

"You never did it before," Todoroki whispered and Izuku didn't want to hear it. He gripped the handle on the front doors and hurried to the elevator, Todoroki following easily behind.

"W-well, you're my superior and it wouldn't look good if I injured you or—"

"We weren't at work the other times," Todoroki stated.

"It takes a while to kick in!" Izuku blurted, gripping his bag like a piece of moral support. "Can we not talk about it? _Please_?"

The elevator dinged and Izuku scampered to the opposite wall to maintain some space.

"Just come over for a little bit," Todoroki urged.

"I don't want to."

"But it's a waste of cake."

Izuku's templed twitched, agreeing to the statement but holding his resolve. "I didn't ask you to buy it."

"Then I'll come to your place. I'll help you fall asleep."

"I'd rather you not hover over my bed," Izuku said, unnerved.

"I wouldn't," Todorki reassured. "I'd be in bed with you."

"Definitely not!"

The elevator dinged and Izuku placed a foot forward, but Todoroki grasped the edge of his coat to pull him back. Izuku stared at his face, stepping closer as if approaching an animal, but too determined and focused to pull back. The tight space between them became even smaller and Izuku suddenly forgot why they were arguing.

"Izuku," Todoroki held Izuku's wrist and leaned forward. The heterochromatic shine of his eyes took any fight from his mouth, and he swallowed hard, suddenly parched. "Don't run. Please."

Izuku couldn't move, no matter how much he wanted to and Todoroki just kept getting closer. His head is a mess, he can't remember why this is wrong, why he has to fight it, why did ten years not make a lick of difference when it came between them.

Todoroki didn't kiss him, as he thought he would, but his hands didn't stop stroking his wrist and the hungry gaze didn't lax. Izuku struggled to keep his breathing steady.

"If you really don't want me," his voice rumbled in a raspy whisper. He tilted his head forward, rubbing their bangs together in a weird foray of colors. "If you really hate me, tell me now. Look me in the eye then push me away. Otherwise, I'll keep trying. Everyday."

Izuku trembled, fighting to find balance with the ground as he wanted to move. Who could possibly move with Todoroki prostrated like this, looking so desperate and full of desire like he actually cared about Izuku. As if Izuku was still his after all these years; as if being tender to him was a thirst in his veins. How could he say no, even against his own conciseness when the mere contact of their skin he wanted to melt.

"Todoroki," Izuku found the will to speak in a low whisper. "I don't…understand why you're still bothering with me. Don't you have enough? Your—_fiancee, _the teasing. You don't have to…pretend to love me. Say sweet nothings all the time."

"But I do love you."

Izuku's mind screeched to halt and his eyes snapped directly the Todoroki's eyes. "You don't— you don't know that."

"Izuku—" He said, voice strained and expression pinched. He looked ready to explode more words that Izuku couldn't believe, that were too impossible to consider. Iida was right about one thing, Todoroki was clearly stuck in the past.

"When you look at me"— Izuku cut him off—"who do you see?"

Todoroki crinkled his brow, confused.

"Is it me right now, or me back then?"

Todoroki blinked, his face clearing to a neutral stare, revealing little except his inability to answer the question. The air crisped between them and Izuku knew he didn't need to say anymore. He turned to clicked the elevator to open the doors again and pulled his arm away and walked out. He went as far as his door when Todoroki came up to him in fast strides and gently touched the hand reaching for his keys.

"Wait," Todoroki said. Izuku flexed his free hand and felt the incoming of a headache. "Have one slice with me still. Please." Todoroki lifted the bag slightly to indicate the cake.

Something about the polite plead broke through Izuku and he huffed. "Fine."

It was impossible to understand how Todoroki always broke through him, especially as he sat on the sofa, the same spot Todoroki stroked him against the cushion and whispered embarrassingly sweet words into his ear. Izuku sat on the opposite end and looked anywhere else in the room to forget about it. There's a clatter in the kitchen and Izuku leans forward to look beyond the walls blocking him from the view of the kitchen. Todoroki comes out with two plates and two mugs, raising a brow at Izuku's leaning.

"Oh, um, I thought I heard you drop something," he flushed at his weird stammering.

"Sorry, I've never been welcomed in a kitchen. Even when pouring coffee."

Izuku politely nodded his thanks, taking the plate and mug, but raised a brow. "Sugar _and_ coffee late at night?"

Todoroki sat next to him, a reasonable distance but close enough to reach each other. "Is that weird?"

"A little," Izuku shrugged, smiling a little. "I guess with your coffee addiction, this hardly makes a difference."

"It's not an addiction. It's a necessity."

"You know what that sounds like?" Izuku feigned revelation.

"Hm?"

"An addict."

Todoroki's rolled his eyes and leaned to the side to bump shoulders. Izuku wheezed a short laugh and took polite bites. His mouth burst with fresh lemon and raspberries, tart and refreshing. He groaned in appreciation. "Oh, wow. This is amazing."

Todoroki nodded, smiling at Izuku's reaction. "I'm glad."

"Where did you get this?"

Todoroki's eyes drifted forward as he thought. "I'm not sure. Momo sent it. She's better with these sorts of things."

A frigid chill splashed against Izuku's face, waking him up from whatever warmth he felt from accepting Todoroki's invitation. "Ah, right."

Todoroki snorted at an unseen joke. "She also gave the bento we traded. You can give the container back whenever. I'm sure she has hundreds. I'd be eating ramen and prepared market meals if she didn't force them on me every week. She's a pain, but a much needed one."

He talked about her with such fondness it clenched at Izuku's chest. Then he was remembering again that Todoroki already has someone. Someone who cared about him enough to have his cat, have his key, and make his meals. And he tried to claim to love Izuku.

Izuku grimaced. "How nice." He sloshed the coffee as he went to drink it but everything felt dull in that moment and he didn't pay any mind. He ate the cake in fast swipes, the fresh notes turning bitter with every thought that Momo didn't know he was there and Iida would tear him to bits for accepting.

The silence didn't last long and Izuku stood quickly from the couch to pick up his bag. "Thank you for the cake. I'll be going."

Todoroki looked startled at the speed Izuku was leaving, glancing at his empty plate and mug, then his jaw tensed as if to find a reason to make Izuku stay. There was nothing he could say, they both knew it. "Yeah, alright."

He walked him to the door and bid goodnight, congratulating him again on his job on the magazine. Izuku nodded and returned the sentiment, ending their interaction as cleanly as possible. When Izuku finally made it into his home, the colossal mess from the weeks of stress strewn across the floor, he stood at the walkway for a long time, body falling back against the door. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, a heavy weight falling like a wave behind his eyes and threatening to clog his throat.

Izuku finally got through to him, poked a hole through his so-called feelings and he didn't retaliate. Their past was over, there was nothing left between them. Todoroki could finally leave him alone. Izuku should be celebrating.

Then why did he feel so irritated?

* * *

A/N: I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Please rip this to bits! Thank you!


	7. 252 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

A/N:Hi

Here ya go

* * *

_(Eight Years Ago)_

Izuku peaked over Saga's slumped shoulders, darting his eyes to the shining title on the grey hardcover. _The Ice Queen_ by Michi Neya. Saga groaned, back expanding and shrinking with a sigh. Izuku dashed behind a stack of shelves, watching the laces of his shoes in case he tripped, and held his breath. He peaked back and Saga remained sleeping at the table. Izuku exhaled then a scorching heat followed to his cheeks.

He'd done this for weeks now. All Saga did was pick a book for him on the top shelf, something which was quite common with Izuku being as short as he was, however, Izuku couldn't _stop _watching him. The logical next step would be to talk to Saga, relieve the growing curiosity that latched to the gorgeous face but he didn't have a good history with making friends. So reading the same books made him feel much closer. Saga had no idea who he was, of course, and would probably find his… interest… creepy or gross, but it's not as if he'd be _willing _to talk to Izuku. From his shining black hair and confident lean shoulders, there was too much amazing about Saga that Izuku would lose his tongue before thinking about saying something as simple as 'hello' and Saga would note to never speak to him again.

The closest they would ever become was their name next to each other on the check out cards. That was good enough.

Izuku opened his notebook and jotted down the next title in his list to check out another day.

* * *

(_Present Day)_

"No way."

Izuku's lips thin as he takes back the sheet of paper. "You barely looked at it…"

"There's no survey results, no statistics, no proof this book would sell in the real world. The board will hardly look it either. It's like you put no effort at all."

"Wha—no!" Izuku had to reign himself from shouting already feeling the stare of the other editors. "I'm really excited the get Eri's book out there. Her work is riveting and popular—"

"The work of an editor isn't just to collect manuscripts and believe in the author. You need data, ad campaigns, references. Did your other company teach you anything?"

Izuku fought a flush, finding sharp irritation at Todoroki's raised brow. He's aware he's not as seasoned as the other editors. More and more it seemed he truly didn't learn anything at All Might's, but when Todoroki looked at him like he couldn't measure up, somehow it was more than a personal blow and his anger got the best of him. "Well, it's different here. It's not like you taught me—"

"I'm not a mind reader, you never asked."

"But you're head editor and you know my background—"

"I'm not your mother, open your mouth next time."

"There's a thing called _subtext_. Clearly, I don't know what to do—"

"Then maybe you should learn to say it outright."

Izuku stilled, the stares in the room awkward enough but now it felt like they dove into an entirely different conversation. Todoroki's brow was dipped in sincere irritation and Izuku knew it was better to bite his tongue and sulk back to his desk.

He hardly looked back at Todoroki's desk, or anywhere else really. It was fine, Todoroki _sort of_ gave him clues. Izuku could figure out the rest for himself. Proposing a manga to be published was new territory, apparently much more difficult than submitting a request document, but Eri deserved to be published in a true manga rather than a magazine. Izuku would do this, and not-at-all to spite his boss, but because he loved his position as Eri's editor and this was just another step to becoming a top editor.

—

Several hours later, Izuku was glowering at his computer screen with no idea if he made any progress. He gathered all the documents he would need: surveys, data, sales; but he didn't know _exactly _how to format it in his request document.

He figured out he needed a campaign, a promotion; something he never did that for books. Clearly this was something to be discussed with marketing. Maybe he needed to ask the sales department. An image of Iida came to the front of his mind and he shuddered at the thought.

He should just give up and ask Todoroki—

Izuku fell forward until his head hit the desk and groaned. No way did he wanted to deal with him. They'd just end up arguing again.

"You're still here?"

Izuku didn't sit up and grunted some form of affirmation. He hoped he was the last in the building A rolling noise scratched against the tile and Izuku sat up to Todoroki observing the strewn of documents next to his computer.

"Did you need me for something?"

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same question."

"No." Izuku feigned confidence. "Doing just fine."

"Really?" He looked at Izuku's monitor, where the page he presented earlier hardly had any changes. Izuku stopped the urged to collapse the screen. "I have time before I head home."

"I'm opening my mouth, aren't I? I don't need your help."

Todoroki's mouth twitched. "Ah, right, my mistake."

The room went back to silence and Izuku turned to the computer, though he had nothing to type, and shuffled through a few papers until Todoroki walked away. Instead, a shadow leaned deeply over his shoulder, nestling in the crook of Izuku's neck. The scent of light musk among pine hit Izuku's nose and he tilted his head away, measuring his breathes.

A sudden rolling fluster hit his tongue as he stumbled,"W-what are you doing?"

"Looking at the proposal," he replied as he stared at the screen.

"I said I was doing _fine."_

"Yes, and I read the subtext."

Izuku blinked a few times, the fluttering that hit his tongue rolled down to his abdomen. A calm hit him for some reason and it was hard to look away from Todoroki. From his rolled-up sleeves and attentive stare at Izuku's work, there was an integrity and grace that made him look…admirable. Perhaps a little beautiful.

"You have documents on Eri's sales right? She's always ranked top three in every magazine she's in. What about the other authors with her? How do their mangas sell? Can you get an estimate of Eri's numbers based on those authors?"

Izuku barely catches the last half of his words, shaking his head to focus. "Oh, well—"

"What was the audience for those other authors? Would Eri be similar or different? Can you look at their promotions and use a similar tactic? And when we look at the ad campaign, what about leaflets? Pops?"

Izuku scrambled across his mess of a desk to find his notebook, the one he'd filled with notes from day one, and jotted down the questions. "Wait, hold on, let me write this down—"

"There's also the option of social media for promotion, but due to her anonymity, you might want to forgo that as an option. Mention it in the meeting. Then there's the obi to think about or even an extra spread to promote the release."

Izuku scribbled all the questions into his notebook, adding side notes and exclamation marks for research he'd have to look up tonight. He'd never dealt with marketing so he'd have to figure out the process and price difference of each form of promotion. Eri was definitely popular enough to deserve higher quality and more exposure. Perhaps he'd stop by the store before hitting the house to distinguish the different impact of campaigns when he browsed books—

"Izuku."

The caressing breath against his ear surprised him, sending a shock down his neck, and he twisted sharply in his chair. Todoroki dove in the next moment, a soft pressure of lips brushing his own like a wing's feather on a sharp gust of wind. Izuku stopped breathing.

Todoroki smiled as he pulled away, something really soft and secret. "I haven't seen you that concentrated in a long time. It brings back memories."

"I-I thought we weren't—or, ah, um, wait—you kissed me?"

"You were mumbling," he responded as if it were an answer to the question.

"That's not a reason." Izuku uttered a nervous laugh.

Todoroki completely dodged the question, staring at the document on the screen again. He tilted his head and points to the line with Izuku's name. "When did you change your name?"

Izuku scrunched his brow. "Sorry?"

"Midoriya. In high school your last name was Deku," Todoroki explained. "Though I always assumed it was short for a longer name starting with Deku. Did your mom remarry—what?"

Izuku's face probably looked sheet white to compliment the dawning horror that hit him. He dashed glances at the hardwood floor, wanting to drown straight to the center of the earth. "Um, no— it was always Midoriya."

"Izuku." Todoroki's voice hit a sharp note that meant he was going to be angry and Izuku felt worse because one of his most embarrassing confessions was going to come to light. He hardly even remembered it but it was just another misunderstanding to add to the mound.

"Um, w-when I checked out books after you, I knew it would be creepy if you found my real name underneath yours on each checkout card. So to avoid looking creepy, I sort of…changed it?"

Todoroki blinked, jaw tensing once and eyes widening to sparkling outrage and disbelief. "_What?_"

"I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm sorry!" Izuku tensed and huddled farther into his chair with sharp head bows.

"Are you saying I didn't know your name? All that time?" Todoroki ran a rough swipe through his hair and looked at the ceiling. His mouth was fallen into a disgruntled scowl. "Did I know anything about you? I haven't been this angry in a long time; why do you do this to me? Do you know how long I looked for you? No wonder I couldn't find you, _Izuku Deku_! What a stupid— " He turned away, swiveling to look towards the windows, and Izuku's throat clenched.

Todoroki looked for him?

"I— it was wrong. I was a stupid kid. Too infatuated with you to view reality. Sorry."

Todoroki murmured, "I wish you were still that way, sometimes."

Izuku's heart panged. "Yeah."

Todoroki turned his head to look back at Izuku, eyes roaming up and down and eyes prowling across his body like a familiar dance. His eyes were angry anymore, but simmering to something slower, something that tingled across Izuku's spine. Todoroki moved forward slowly, inspecting Izuku at an uncomfortably slow pace. Izuku swears Todoroki could kill him from anticipation most of the time.

He tilted forward, obviously looking for another kiss and Izuku just froze. It wasn't sure if it was out of guilt, nostalgia, or a blooming feeling he wanted to smother since day one, but he let him. Except he didn't go for his lips. He went for his cheek, for his brow, for his nose. It was sweet and languid, a short bliss that made his head fuzzy and warmed his palms.

Todoroki pulled back, a light in his eyes and sharp clarity that was perhaps the complete opposite of Izuku's flushed face. "What you said at the apartment—"

"Todoroki."

Izuku leapt from his seat. Iida stood a few paces from the front door, glowering straight at them. The shine on his glasses gave the illusion of lasers charging behind his eyes and Izuku wouldn't be surprised if he was obliterated the next second.

"Yes?" Todoroki didn't seem to notice the glower or care much for it. In fact, he acted as if nothing was wrong at all.

"The director of sales wants to talk about some details on the TV series for Katsuki's manga."

"Katsuki's editor isn't here. I was getting ready to leave soon." Todoroki had the audacity to lean back in his seat and yawn.

"Should I tell them that?" Iida challenged.

Todoroki didn't consider it long and sighed. "Alright, fine. I'll be right back." He directed the last statement at Izuku, which was horrible since Izuku was trying to make himself as invisible as possible; maybe pack up his things and slink behind some cabinets.

Todoroki left through the front door and Izuku settled back into his chair, mind reeling at his next course of action. Of course, he didn't want to be entirely rude and pretend to work on the proposal while Iida stood there, but he also didn't want to engage in conversation. Iida _had _to have seen them, and he'll question Izuku with things he can't answer and feelings he didn't even want. Izuku tapped his pen against the front page of his notebook and slowly turned to the door, hoping Iida happened to follow Todoroki out the door.

No one was there.

Izuku looked around the room, even checking under his desk. His shoulders unwound.

Izuku wrote more notes for tomorrow and added a few more points to his proposal. He stretched his back in a long lean, tipping the chair back, and a satisfied hum ran down his chest. He could make progress now. He supposed he would have to thank Todoroki later.

He gathered his coat and briefcase to walk towards the elevators and finally head home.

"Why are you calling me out here, Iida? It's late."

Izuku immediately stuttered back and melded against a nearby wall. He regretted it the next moment and realizing it would've looked less conspicuous if he continued walking. He just didn't want to engage with either man when he was so close to freedom for the night.

"What are you doing with Midoriya?"

Izuku's chest thumped.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act stupid. You're not being objective, you've _never _been objective when it comes to him. Ever since college, if he comes up you block everything else out."

Todoroki sighed. "It's fine, I can handle him. It's just work."

"That's bullshit." Izuku jumped when he said the word. Iida could be fierce but when he cursed it rumbled against the ground. "I heard you live next to each other?"

"Who told you that?"

"Momo, obviously."

Todoroki gave a despairing chuckle. "Glad to see my friends keeping me in check."

"He's not _good_ for you!"

"I think I can make that decision for myself." A harsh warning ran through his tone. "This is stupid, I'm going back."

Izuku scrambled to back away as Todoroki's steps went towards the door.

"He was the _cause _of your breakdown!" Iida's voice cut through the air and Todoroki's steps stopped. "This isn't healthy for you."

The silence was tense and stale.

"No, there were more reasons," Todoroki asserted. "I realized I had a real family for once, that my father _hid _from me all those years. Then he tried to stuff mom into a mental institution. Izuku…Midoriya was long gone from my life since then. It was…all bad timing."

Izuku's mind spun, his hand clutched at the wall as air left his lungs and gloom drenched to his toes. He went through all that? His Saga did?

"And you didn't deserve that," Iida tried to placate.

"I know…but blaming it all on Midoriya, thinking it'll happen all over again, is a waste of time."

Izuku heard him take a step and Izuku was too lost to remember he shouldn't be eavesdropping. He attempted to make the motion of just walking down the hall, but he doubted it was believable and almost bumped into Todoroki who looked down in surprise.

"Are you finished?" Todoroki asked. "Wait for me, we'll go back together."

"What? No! I-I can go back fine. I'm going to the store anyway."

"I need to go to the store too. It's not out of the way."

"What I _mean _to say is—"

"Hold on Todoroki, I still need to talk to you," Iida interjected, coming around the corner and sending a scathing glance at Izuku. He shrunk back and took the opportunity to bow out and walk fast to the elevators.

When the doors shut, a sharp huff left his lips and jumbled buzzing stings the back of his head. He's thinking too much again. He shouldn't have listened to their conversation, Todoroki's past was none of his business, he didn't _want _to make it his business.

He pressed the heels of his hand against his shut eyes. Why was he so pissed off?

Did he feel guilty about leaving Todoroki when so much happened to him? He never knew about Todoroki's family, at least from what he remembers, but his Dad was always absent and his Mom was more like a ghost in the house. What could Izuku have done if he stayed? What did he _want _to do?

He knows his past self would've jump an airplane to help him, be there for him, even if he thought their relationship meant nothing. His heart was so full that when it broke it still echoed like glass shards in his system when he remembered it. It made him jaded—pessimistic about everything.

Then Todoroki said he looked for him. Searched for him when he left. Did that mean he really did care…really did love him back then? Meaning he really did love him now?

Izuku already boarded the train and landed in front of the bookstore by the time his thoughts stopped plaguing him. The bright lights splashing across stone and Izuku couldn't walk inside not sure how to handle his thoughts. He had a strong urge to run or cry or kick something, for no other reason but to make an action.

"Are you going inside?"

Izuku jumped back and gawked at Todoroki. He must have caught up with him since he was standing for so long. "Oh, um, actually not tonight…I'm really tired."

Todoroki hummed. "Me, too."

They seemed to take that as a cue to walk slowly towards the apartments and Izuku huddled into himself to prevent further conversation.

"Did Iida…say something to you?"

Izuku stiffened and it was probably a dead give away. "A-about what?"

Todoroki was silent. "Nothing. I guess. I just always thought you became weird when he was around."

"Um, no. He's just—enthusiastic."

"I've known him since university," Todoroki admitted. "We've been through a lot together. He even convinced me to work in manga."

"O-oh, okay."

"He knows about us. So I thought he would've said something. To protect me."

"T-there's nothing going on, so I don't know what he would say." His voice wobbled terribly as the statement felt to be more and more of a lie.

"Something about Momo being my fiancee. About my feelings not being genuine. About the past catching up with me."

"But she is your fiancee, and—Todoroki I don't know why you think you'd like me now. You hardly know me."

"You always talk about my 'questionable_' _feelings but never say what you feel about me. It's interesting."

Izuku's throat clenched. "_I'm_ not the one jumping _you _all the time."

"That would be nice."

"_Todoroki_," Izuku emphasized through clenched teeth and walked faster ahead. A small huff was heard behind him and Izuku's neck was exceedingly warm.

"So, what's your answer?" Todoroki's long legs were easy to catch up next to him.

"What?"

"What do you feel about me? Not Saga, but me."

Izuku darted his eyes to the surrounding buildings, his voice coming out weak. "I don't...know. You're just my boss. It shouldn't matter."

"Does it bother you I'm your boss?"

"Uhm, no. Not really." Their steps clicked lighter as the tiled groundwork became smooth and their apartment came into view. Izuku actually really liked Todoroki as his boss. He pissed him off more times than he can count, but Izuku worked harder. He was always challenged, always engaged with his work. Then he got moments like tonight, when Todoroki helped him, showed him a softer side, his diligence, his insight, his unwillingness to accept anything but the best. Izuku loved seeing those sides of him.

When the reached the glass doors, a sharp trill rang in Izuku's pocket. "Ah, it's Takeyama. I should take this."

Todoroki nodded for him to answer and Izuku turned as he greeted hello. She told him about finishing her manuscript for the month and Izuku affirmed he was about to enter his apartment. She began un-mounting some of her concerns when a firm kiss hit the side of Izuku's cheek. Izuku stopped listening and his chest stuttered and melted.

"Night, Izuku," Todoroki's breath hit him and Izuku didn't even turn to watch him walk away.

Takeyama was still talking on the phone and Izuku completely shut it out and slowly felt his knees give way into an exhausted crouch.

"Hello? Midoriya? Are you there?"

Midoriya couldn't respond at all because he was surely falling way too fast and he didn't know how to stop it.

* * *

A/N: I always write to improve so comments and critiques are welcome! Thank you for reading!


	8. 227 Days Until Izuku Falls in Love

Izuku liked to role-play. Not with swords on open green fields or in anime chat rooms, but thinking about everything he'd do with Saga: birthdays, theme park dates, exploring restaurants, reading books next to each other in a little cuddle.

Or there was Christmas.

It was the most extravagant and detailed of all his visions. They would buy a big cake together with frill and cheesy hearts, feeding each other and getting into a food fight next to the Christmas tree. They'd huddle together the whole day, exchanging sweaters and wrapped in the same blankets. Maybe Saga would tease him with mistletoe everywhere they went and Izuku would be so embarrassed but he'd want nothing but to kiss him all day. Izuku would ask all sorts of questions, talk to him all day and memorize every inch of him. He'd be spoiled rotten up until Izuku would give him a big gift. The gift could've been anything but the image of Saga beaming expression was unlike any light in the sky or pleasure he'd ever witnessed before.

Then they broke up, and that Christmas dream never happened.

Izuku stopped imagining such things ever since.

* * *

"I need to clean my house," Izuku groaned, sprawled across the floor— or rather across laundry, boxes, and miscellaneous stationary— in his apartment.

"Then _do _it," Uraraka giggled on the other end of the phone. "Just a little a day and suddenly all your worries will be blown away."

Izuku had a brief moment of wondering if Uraraka worked on children's books recently. "You don't understand. I hardly have the energy to breathe and the time I have to cook my meals dwindles so low I could be working in a five-star resort." Izuku sighed. "Maybe I should get a maid."

"Oooh, look at you! So fancy you can afford a maid," Uraraka teased.

Izuku flushed. "More like I work so much the extra money isn't spent on anything else. I don't even make much more than All Might's."

"Wait, you actually make a little more?" The short reveling tone made Izuku want to sit up and proclaim, '_it wasn't worth it'_, as he knew Uraraka got a little vicious when money was concerned. However, he was even too tired to deny her the idea.

"Actually, never mind, not important now," Uraraka continued. "How about I come by one day? Make room in your schedule and we'll have a cleaning party. You can take me out to dinner as a treat."

"I guess the holidays are coming up…" Izuku drifted. He forgot to plan anything, being so focused on his work. He supposed Uraraka would be the one he'd want to spend it with. "Sure, that sounds perfect."

Urarka squealed. "I'm so excited! It's so hard to physically hang out with you. There's always one new project you're taking care of. I miss your aura."

"My aura?" Izuku chuckled.

"It's spiritual. I've been getting more into spiritually since our industry is hell and you have to have a good internal navigation system."

"'Rara, you're ridiculous."

"And you love me," she sang. "Speaking of love, any more updates on the next door Casanova?"

Izuku groaned and rolled over to stuff his face into a pile of paper that poked at his face. "We don't speak his name in my home," his voice muffled.

"Wow, that bad?"

Izuku thought of the kiss on his cheek from a few weeks ago and recoiled at the floating feeling that followed it. "It's better not to think about it."

"And he's still nailed down by that…Yoyo, girl?"

"Yaoyorozu. Yeah."

"Bummer." There's a short silence. "You should get laid this Christmas."

Izuku shot up from the floor and yelled, "Gosh, Rara!"

"You're so brooding, and honestly I know you haven't gone out with someone in a while. All this traumatic-romantic stress is going to explode at some point. Don't worry, I have a best friend-wing woman-license. Along with a decent gay-dar. You're in good hands."

"I get enough 'hands' from Casanova, thank you."

"Ehhh, but is it enough? Is it?"

"Don't set me up. I'll hate you forever, Uraraka."

"Fine, fine!" Another silence. "How about getting laid on New Years?"

Izuku loved Uraraka, he did, but sometimes he couldn't tell if she was teasing him or being serious with her usual sugarcoating of humor to cheer him up. It was a thin line. They did make plans to meet around Christmas, and it gave Izuku something to look forward to— even with the threat of Uraraka promoting his nonexistent sexual life.

* * *

Izuku was not looking forward to the next few days.

The company entered the holiday season, decorations of tinsel, colorful bulbs, and Santa hats scattered all over the halls and departments—there was a definitive joy in the first week but it all went to hell in the next. The holiday season for publishing meant the printing offices closed early, meaning everything was planned around their schedule. The shoujo department's cycle was cut in half, placing double the stress in a pressurized amount of time. Meaning no sleep or showers or living of any kind.

Izuku was so tired it felt like a miracle to open his eyes.

"Good work, everyone!" echoed the boisterous cheer of Iida. "I expected nothing less from the best. I hope you're all well prepared for the gathering tomorrow. Remember, it is a formal dress code, you must show up early to volunteer and greet early arriving authors, and you're allowed a plus one."

Then there was that.

The Company Holiday Party, which everyone was required to attend, but as usual it was hard to think about such luxuries when there was always so much work to do before hand.

Everyone was collapsed properly in their paper piles across the department and barely lifted their heads at the announcement.

"Honestly…I'd rather sleep forever," Kirishima groaned and everyone sighed wistfully in agreement.

"This is a highlight of the year!" Iida asserted. "A time to relish our achievements, set forth new goals, and give thanks to all our hard workers."

"Forcing us to an unpaid event for several hours with people we see 364 days out of the year isn't much of a 'Thank you'," Aoyama pointed out. Everyone groaned in agreement, again.

"You are provided 29 days of vacation around public holidays and 14 days of personal leave along with paid time accrued, which is well beyond—"

"We'll be there! Just…stop talking," Todoroki silenced him from the resting lean of his chair. A grateful sigh was shared by them all when silence graced their ears again.

Izuku showed up to the rented venue with raised brows and an awkward stop at the ballroom. It was a grand open area with a buffet lined at the edges, silky drapes of beige sunlight along the tall windows, and smooth off-white tiles. Servers were setting up trays of champagne to pass out to the arriving guests. He dressed accordingly, a simple black suit he'd used for years and the tie just a bit crooked but he hoped no one cared enough to point it out, but he felt out of place. He didn't realize how big the party would be until now. He wasn't much for mingling.

Izuku, and eventually more of Emerald, spent the first forty minutes greeting guests as they arrived and passing out name badges for company employees and keeping track of plus ones. It wasn't terrible, but it was tedious and suspicious that their department was the only one doing the job.

"I thought we weren't supposed to be working today?" Kirishima mumbled next to him and Aoyama gave a wide-eyed look which looked like he wasn't surprised in the slightest. Izuku stifled a laugh.

When they were finally released, another department being forced to the task, everyone naturally gathered to enter the ballroom at once, and it was a bit comforting when Izuku felt like the inexperienced intern following along. Then a swarm of women seemed to turn towards them immediately and Izuku froze to blend in with the rest.

"It's the Maiden Department!" A woman exclaimed, thus opening the floodgates for them to approach. They split amongst themselves for each gentleman, so it wasn't as overwhelming but Izuku still struggled to keep up.

"Everyone is even more gorgeous than last year!"

"Who's the new cutie? Are you married yet?"

"You should have a welcoming party afterward! How about a few drinks?"

"Don't be shy, we don't bite!"

Izuku turned his head to Tamaki, the one who should definitely be handling this the worst, but he looked just as at ease as if on the phone, and talked to all the women with decorum and grace. He sent simple smiles, dazzling in their own right, and looked them properly in the eyes and they seemed to melt. Izuku followed his lead, unsure what else to do, and soon relaxed as the women were just happy for a bit of company, though a tad flirtatious with their questions. Once a server passed with a champagne glass, Izuku nursed like a shield.

The front doors were met with a new wave of people, which turned the heads of the gaggle of women once again. Izuku used the short distraction to move on the other end of the room, but a new wave of anxiety hit his chest when he looked in the same direction.

He only recognized one face in the new group at the doors, but all of them zoned in on their department. A man with spiky blond hair glared directly towards Kirishima who was beaming at him like a star fallen from the sky. A voice leaned towards Izuku's ear and murmured, "That's Katsuki."

Izuku whipped his head to look at Todoroki, moderately flustered at his sudden appearance, then back at Katsuki, and back at Todoroki. "W-wait, what? _That's _Kirishima's author? I always thought he was a girl."

"It's a common assumption, which works out in his favor. He has a strong personality, too much for Shoujo. That's why he works with Kirishima. They balance each other out."

Izuku watched Katsuki march to Kirishima and hover rather close with a simmering glower. He didn't look angry per se, just perpetually irritated. Kirishima's bright smile and nice attire really brought it down. It made sense.

Another blonde, more broad in the chest and ridiculously bright in cheer, was walking straight to Tamaki. It was almost the same replica dynamic of Kirishima and Katsuki, except reversed. The blonde was bright and cheerful while Tamale huddled close with a neutral expression, yet there was a clear companionship that made them look like a pair rather than two individuals.

Then, the last arrival, the one Izuku was dreading, walked straight towards him. Izuku was already trying to shuffle away, hoping a coworker would force him into some simpering conversation.

"Could you wear any less clothes, Momo?" Todoroki asked.

"I wore a very thick coat before I came indoors if that helps. You know I hardly choose my own clothes." Momo gave a subtle flip of her styled waves, confidence oozing naturally from her pearly skin. Izuku almost felt frumpy in comparison.

"So, we officially meet. Again. Sort of. Midoriya, right?" Yaoyorozu smiled at him, giving a short laugh, and Izuku's shoulders jumped as he was surprised she was being so polite. He half expected her to be worse than Iida and chop his head from his shoulders on the spot.

"Uh, yes! Yaoyorozu, I remember you. It's wonderful to see you again." He paused. "You look as beautiful as ever."

"Oh, you're so sweet. It just comes with my family. Trust me, I hate making the effort. Todoroki is the one who always looks effortless. Even after a week of never leaving the office, he'd still be the most attractive in a room."

Todoroki fought from wrinkling his nose. "Please don't say that."

"It's true! You're a real catch, Todoroki. All the girls in college wanted a piece of you. Luckily I've been there since the beginning to protect you. " She beamed up at him and Todoroki made no effort in smiling back. Something stabbed Izuku's chest.

"I was really lucky. Especially with your family's food," Todoroki said, raising his head to gesture at Izuku. "Izuku tried one of the bentos."

"Oh yeah?" Yaoyorozu politely turned to him with interest. "I remember Todoroki mentioned it, it's hard to keep track from day to day. What did you think?"

"O-oh, it was delicious. Really amazing," Izuku stuttered, slowly feeling like he wasn't really in the conversation. It was all pleasantries, a businesslike exchange. They were all playing their part. "Thank you so much for taking care of him. He'd be worthless in the office otherwise with all the coffee he drinks."

Todoroki sent a retaliating glower.

"You're right, he's hopeless!" Yaoyorozu laughed and Izuku laughed appropriately afterwards. He didn't feel genuine about it at all.

"I, uh, see someone I need to speak to. It was lovely meeting you again, Yaoyorozu. I'll see you around." Izuku left as fast as he could and grabbed a glass from the buffet table before finding the closest person who would make conversation with him. He remembered little of what he said, he was a robot on auto pilot trying to ignore the sore spot spreading around his chest.

Later into the party, Izuku finally believed it was time to leave. He tried to mingle with authors, recognizing a few and wanting to gush about their series and question their current process, but he couldn't find himself in the mood. He flipped open his phone and wondered if he should invite Uraraka over one night earlier than planned.

Izuku walked up to the revolving front doors of the venue and stuttered to a stop at Yaoyorozu leaning against the wall. She didn't at all look surprised to see Izuku and stood tall with that small smile.

"Leaving for the night?" she asked.

"Uh, yes. I have some things to do at home."

She nodded. "I never thought Todoroki would meet you again. I really hoped he wouldn't."

Izuku flinched and mumbled, "Me, too." He paused. "Congratulations on your engagement. I always thought you two would end up together." The following silence was the worst he experience all night. He probably shouldn't have said it at all.

Yaoyo squinted at him, a personal joke playing on her lips. "We're…not actually engaged."

Izuku's heart jumped. "Sorry?"

"We're not exactly each others' type. Though I've never minded pretending to be engaged. It really helps out with our families."

"He doesn't…isn't engaged? " Izuku whispered to himself. Todoroki had denied it many times, but he never believed him. Wasn't he playing with Izuku? If he wasn't then—wouldn't that mean—

"But even with knowing this, I want to clarify," Yaoyo walked closer, her heels clacking against the tile like a trooper's march, "I don't support any relationship—future or present—between the two of you, in the slightest."

Izuku swallowed. "We don't— we're not anything."

"And it should remain that way. For his sake." She held his gaze like a solemn promise and Izuku couldn't do much but swallow. "Do you realize how long he looked for you?"

"Looked for me?" It clicked a moment later, that brief confession a month ago, the quick admission. Izuku twisted at his wrist, a bundle of nerves clenching in his stomach.

"Eventually, he found you. You were in America. With your family and living happy. He finds out that you hadn't gone there on a whim or emergency, but that you had always planned to leave. While you were dating, you knew, and never told him."

Izuku seized on the spot, not because he was caught or felt guilty, but thinking about Todoroki. "It wasn't—did he think I was playing with him? I wasn't—!"

"Then why lie? You can't justify yourself all these years later. You made your choice."

"It wasn't like that," Izuku urged.

"You should just…Please stay away from him. You caused nothing but harm when you weren't around. I don't want to see what it could do to him now."

Izuku had nothing to say to that. They both caused each other harm. Of course to Izuku it felt more visible, permanent, and impossible to overcome. It was a mental and physical pain, one he still endured. He looked down at his hands and clenched them hard together.

"Yeah…you're probably right."

Yaoyo's heels echoed loudly as she went to pass him back to the ballroom. She stopped, looking off somewhere and hesitating to say something more. "Did you ever really love him? _Really_?"

Izuku was still staring at his hands, a clog in his throat as he remembered every time he thought about Todoroki when he got those scars. What he had to push through, what he lost in the process.

"Yeah, I really did." His eyes prickled and he turned his head so Yaoyo wouldn't see it.

"Do you…love him now?"

Izuku chuckled, the wetness in his throat bleeding in it. At first, he said nothing, finding no honest words to answer. But it was clear Yaoyo wouldn't leave without something concrete. "No. I couldn't."

"You don't sound very convinced."

"Everything's different now and…we're not good for each other. You said so yourself and you know him better than me. I'll, maybe, always love Saga. But Todoroki is my boss. We hardly know each other. "

She didn't say anything, pausing for a few moments as she stared forward to process his words, before continuing on her way to the ballroom. Izuku stood there a moment, trying to swallow through his own admission. Find the truth in what he said.

Even he doubted his own words.

Izuku strode outside the revolving doors and down the front steps, shaking his head to clear the conversation. The air wasn't unreasonably cold considering the time of year, but it bit at his nose and soft puffs of air played outside his mouth whenever he breathed. He wouldn't mind taking the station back home instead of a cab.

He got as far as the next building when hasty steps tapped down the same stairs he left and he turned out of curiosity. He regretted it immediately when he was faced with the furrowed brow and swiveling head of his boss, looking around the street. When he made eye contact with Izuku, his posture seemed to unwind a fraction and he took fast strides towards him, making it impossible for Izuku to make a break for it.

"Hey," He stated simply, his expression unreadable and drinking in Izuku's face as if it was a puzzle to solve. "Let me drive you home."

"You have a car?" Izuku asked, surprised.

Todoroki shrugged, a half-smile sparkling in his eyes. "Of course. Do you think I make Momo drive me every time I have to meet an author?"

Izuku found it insane that he'd worked here for nearly half a year and never knew Todoroki drove a car. Then again, there was a lot about him he didn't know. That he didn't understand. Izuku clenched his jaw and found his eyes drifting away from looking at Todoroki. "Um, no thanks. I think I'd like the walk."

"I'm not—," Todoroki stopped himself before taking a step closer, his cologne lifting around Izuku. "I was there when you talked to Momo."

Izuku's eyes widened. "More reason for me to go home alone."

"Izuku," Todoroki stopped him. "You're still running. The more you run, the more you admit what you're trying to avoid."

Izuku flushed red and stood silent. Was that what he was doing? Increasing his own feelings by denying them? He was briefly reminded of Uraraka's words about exploding at some point and being so close to Todoroki made him panic.

Izuku took a measuring breath. "O-okay. Fine. Where's your car?"

Izuku huddled himself against the car door next to the passenger seat, as if to avoid Todoroki's scent all over the interior. He also tried to ignore the deftness of Todoroki's movements across the A/C, sound system, or checking the mirrors. Little indications of a new Todoroki he didn't know and he didn't want to admit he was curious to know more about.

Soft sleets were building on the corners of sidewalks and the top of buildings, lights sparkled blue and white against the usually dreary grey of the city. There were many smiling faces and Izuku was stuck in his own head, trying to find balance with the man driving him home. He was sure it would drive him mad and there was a pressure at the tip of his tongue to release everything between them. Maybe they needed closure, to be honest, and talk out their confusion. This constant cycle of misunderstandings and rocky emotions would hurt Izuku's progress at work, and it's not like he could escape it at home either.

It was something he seemed to keep forgetting. He didn't originally come to Aizawa Publishing for romance or to relive his high school days. He was there for himself. To be the best editor. And admittedly, when he allowed Todoroki to instruct him, really let him in, he made a lot of progress. But then Todoroki would bring their past into the conversation and Izuku took ten steps back.

They needed to move past it.

"Yaoyo isn't your fiancee," Izuku rushed out in a murmur and quickly turned his head towards the window as red rose to his face. Maybe he shouldn't have started with that one.

"You don't say," Izuku could hear the smile and turned with the urge to shove him out the window. "No, she's not. We pretend to our families but not anyone else. I guess that doesn't stop assumptions though," Todoroki sighed. "She's one of my best friends."

That brought a lot more questions than it answered but Izuku knew prying would prolong the conversation. "And, um, you found out I went to America."

"Yeah." Todoroki paused. "I did."

"I didn't play with you!" Izuku blurted out, again, causing Todoroki to whip his head and raise his brows. He quickly turned back to the road, brows falling to a furrow. "I know it doesn't mean anything now, but I never played with you back then. I honestly thought _not _to go to America because of you. To stay together—Uhm, not that it's important but I…" Izuku doesn't know why he wanted to tell him. It just bothered him. He was stupid when he was young for many reasons but for so many years he believed he was the victim. He didn't think he meant anything to Saga, that all his feelings were wasted and left a gaping hole that filled with bitterness and cynicism. But to think Izuku caused Todoroki real pain all these years…

"I never really thought you played with me," Todoroki whispered. "I hated you for a while, but after we met again, it made me realize I could never really think badly of you."

The air in the car settled, the rough waves that always sat between them, tossing his anxiety like a shell, felt more like a low tide Izuku could stand on. Izuku still felt terrible but it was…better. Talking to each other honestly— it was nice, even if a little bitter.

"What you said…about whether I like you now or what I remember of you," Todoroki continued and Izuku fidgeted with his hands as he listened. His eyes fought not to drift towards outside the windows, to watch the joy on stranger's faces rather than indulge in what he dreaded Todoroki would say. "For a moment, I thought you were right. I tried to keep our distance at work, I tried to only see you as a subordinate. But—it's impossible not to look at you. Impossible to treat you differently when you're the only one I see in a room. I want to kiss you, hold you, tease you for things that should be annoying but I—" Todoroki caught on his own words, a hand ruffling the back of his head as a mix of emotions ran across on his face: frustration, endearment, dumbfounded. It was like watching a slideshow on x1000 speed and Izuku struggled to keep up with it all.

"I love the current Izuku," Todoroki admitted, "not the past one. I want you to love me so bad you're weak to it. And I don't want you to change. Not even a little."

The walls around Izuku's heart felt like they were shuddering, as if an entire earthquake was at his feet. He had denied it for so long, for so many years— it couldn't be that easy. That Todoroki—for him—

The crank of the handbrake and Todoroki turning off the engine broke through and Izuku realized they were parked behind their apartment. Time felt like it condensed itself, strangling Izuku in place. There were too many emotions in his chest, bleeding back into old wounds and tangling into something unnamable. He didn't know how to handle it, how to make it go away.

Then a soft pressure glided across his hand, questioning and gentle, which forced him to look up. Lips found his mouth, nibbling, sucking, and tenderly encouraging him. Izuku wantonly whimpered, his eyes already half-lidded as he fell into rhythm with Todoroki's mouth. He watched the earnest determination on Todoroki's face as he kissed like parched on a glass of sweet red wine. A hand tangled through his hair, running through it in small caresses against his skull.

Izuku leaned forward, finding the turmoil in his chest falling away like unraveled twine. Todoroki groaned and that sent a shudder between his legs. The car was easily growing warm, growing thick and taut. Todoroki pulled back and leaned their heads together. They breathed heavily on the other, finding their own answers on each other's face and indulging in each other's presence.

The hand in his hair traveled down his coat, making its intentions clear as it traveled down his chest. Izuku felt his breathing increase as the hand reached between his legs. He didn't stop staring at Todoroki who looked as he did the first day Izuku met him: unreadable, unfairly beautiful, and dangerous.

The hand went for his belt and Izuku's hips twitched forward and he clenched a hand against the car seat. The sound of his zipper going undone was as loud as a passing semi truck and Izuku clutched at Todoroki's tie to pull him forward and drown it out. Todoroki breathed out, clearly surprised, but didn't relent. The kiss was much deeper, had much more tongue than before. Slick and hungry is how Izuku would describe it, and it took him a moment to realize Todoroki's hand didn't go any farther.

As they pulled away, Todoroki stared down at him in awe.

"What? What is it?" Izuku said, a bit dazed and breathless.

"You kissed me."

It took Izuku a moment to realize what that meant. Yeah, they had been kissing for a while, wasn't that the point? Then his head cleared and he realized what he meant. His face felt red hot and the small satisfied smile on Todoroki's face confirmed it.

Todoroki kissed him again—much softer this time— and Izuku hesitated to return it. He didn't know what he was doing, what it meant for them when Izuku didn't pull away. Todoroki pulled back to give another kiss on Izuku's cheek, on his eyelashes, and progressed into making Izuku incoherent again. Izuku couldn't keep up, it was hard to breathe let alone think, and maybe that's what he wanted. To not think.

All he could feel was Todoroki's fingers raising his skin, all he could taste was the smokiness on Todoroki's tongue, all he could smell was the natural sweat mixed with sweet cologne. It wrapped around him—hid him from the rest of the world—and drove him senseless.

They were out of the car, up the stairs, and in front of their apartments before Izuku could be aware of it. Todoroki hadn't stopped touching him for a second.

"Your keys," Todoroki groaned, his mouth finding a hard time unlatching from Izuku's. Izuku grappled through his coat and stumbled to get his key through the lock as Todoroki began pushing him against a wall. Todoroki eventually reached around him to line up the key and they stumbled through the entryway.

The keys ended up somewhere, along with their coats. Izuku was too focused on the hard wall against his back and the mouth sucking on his pulse. Both hands went under Izuku's shirt and untucked it from his pants. Izuku shivered, the hands colder than before, as they ran along his sides.

"Touch me," Todoroki whispered next to his head then pulled back, looking as composed as ever when Izuku felt a wreck. "I want you to touch me, too."

Izuku's hands were shaking, his heart hammering so hard it was trembling through his veins. He ran his hands along the front of Todoroki's shirt, rubbing across the surface. Todoroki stood still, breathing deeply and watching Izuku's every action. Izuku felt a bit more confident and reached for Todoroki's belt and unbuckled it until he could pull out the shirt and touch bare skin. Todoroki sighed into a hum and moved forward for another kiss.

Izuku reveled in the soft skin gliding at his finger tips, the ripples in his abdomen and taunt form of his chest. Then he noticed the deft fingers pulling at his own pants and briefs and Izuku squeaked at the sudden cold air between his legs. His pants pooled at the floor and Izuku could barely exclaim his surprise before Todoroki crouched to his knees and took Izuku's cock in one gulp.

"Oh my—fuck, Todoroki—" Izuku gasped and clutched the side of Todoroki's head as he freely bobbed and sucked. Loud squelching echoed down the hall of his apartment, saliva and precum creating a smooth suction, but it felt too amazing to complain about how embarrassing it was. "Y-you don't have to—ah ah, oh god, you don't have to do that!"

Todoroki vibrated a noise around his tip, and Izuku stuttered his hips back from bucking forward and cumming immediately. He didn't want to think how long it'd been since he'd masturbated, let alone have sex, that he wanted to cum within thirty seconds. He felt a smile at his tip before Todoroki released him, and something felt familiar about it not that his head could keep up.

"You rather we did something else?" Todoroki asked.

Izuku tried to find his breath and touched the side of his face, the heat radiating to his hand. "I—I didn't mean—"

Todoroki rose back to kiss, quickly shutting him up. "We don't have to do more…" Todoroki whispered, seemingly telling the truth but the vibration on his skin said otherwise. "I just—you're here. You're here and nothing else matters."

Izuku held his breath, the back of his head reminding him of something. That this wasn't right…this wasn't what he wanted. But he _did _want it. He wanted all of Todoroki like a drug to get out of his system. He didn't want sweet words and tenderness, because it wasn't true. What they had was nothing but a reflection of the past, unsatisfied and festering for years and they needed to release it. They needed this to end what they had.

Izuku grabbed Todoroki's jaw, a slight tremble in his hand, and swiped a thumb across the bone. "I- I want to… do more," he admitted before instigating a kiss for the second time that night. Todoroki sighed pleasantly against him, his entire body unwinding into relief as they breathed wanton life into each other's lungs. Izuku kissed him hard, hard enough to bump teeth and draw eager moans. All his frustration, all of his past would go into this moment. He didn't want to be gentle, he just wanted— he wanted—

Izuku kicked off his shoes and pants before they stumbled across his apartment and to the bedroom. Their clothes jumbled into heaps on the floor and the bedsheet slid to the bottom edge as they tangled around one another. They licked and teased noises from each other, and sometimes Todoroki tried to slow down, be sweet, but Izuku would push back and be more aggressive. Todoroki eventually understood the rhythm, not at all opposed.

Izuku ended up on his back, panting from excitement, and Todoroki was sliding a sprawled hand slowly up his chest. Izuku arched to encourage it. He shivered against the cold finger tips stroking his abdomen and grasping his waist. Their hips bumped, Todoroki's erection standing tall against his, and satisfaction rumbled into Izuku's throat. His arched again until they were rutting, a sweet teasing friction that made Izuku clutch the sheets and keen, and Todoroki dropped his head between Izuku's collarbone and huffed against his shoulder.

Izuku had power for once, swelling in his chest and encouraging his hand to move between them and grasp their cocks together. Todoroki made a short, 'ah!', and gripped Izuku's hip to steady himself. He mumbled sweet nothings into his neck and gave short kisses and whispered moans as Izuku twisted his wrist around them.

"Don't stop. Don't stop. Izuku— ah, yes—just like that," Todoroki breathed.

Izuku was so close, he nibbled and sucked at Todoroki's shoulder, making a harsh spot as he stroked them faster. Todoroki reached down to help, his long fingers more adept at reaching every angle of his cock, and Izuku arched— his other hand reaching up to drag Todoroki into a kiss. After a few strokes, he cummed into their hands, splattering up his chest.

Todoroki watched, grunting next to his shoulder and bucking his hips as he pulled himself off and followed the same path of fluid on Izuku's stomach. The rise and fall of Todoroki's chest collided pleasantly in the aftermath and they languidly explored the other's mouth as they came down from the high.

Izuku felt the stickiness on his hand and groaned, wiping across the sheets. Todoroki chuckled and kissed his forehead. "Never cummed on your hands before?"

Izuku groaned and covered his face. "Please don't talk."

Todoroki huffed a laugh again and waited a moment before pulling Izuku's hand from his face and wiping at it with his dress shirt. Izuku wanted to pull away and reprimand him but the gentle smile on his face made his chest fuzzy.

"Where did you get these?" Todoroki asked, pointing at the discolored lines on Izuku's hands. He slowly dragged the shirt across his fingers as he cleaned them, and followed the motion by touching each scar like guidelines on a treasure map. Izuku swallowed.

"College. I liked working with my hands back then." Izuku kept it short, not wanting to admit the mental state that caused him to mindlessly hurt his hands. That the very reason he hurt himself was now treating him gently and making his chest constrict.

"Ah, such as, self defense? Cooking?" Todoroki guessed.

Izuku could only nod.

Todoroki gave the softest victorious smiles, like a man unlocking the secrets to the earth's existence. Izuku always forgot the strength of his smiles, the sudden sweetness and beauty of it that could shock a man to his knees. Todoroki gathered Izuku, his arms wrapping broadly behind his back, and held Izuku's head to his chest, nuzzling into his hair.

He breathed deeply and moaned, "Izuku."

Izuku was clutching Todoroki's arms and trying to comprehend the sudden tight affection. He can't imagine the expression on his own face but Todoroki looked…it was hard to name.

"I don't know your last eight years. I've been in love with you for every moment and yet I have no idea who you are." He dipped forward and kissed the side of Izuku's face until nuzzling him back into an embrace. "I want to know everything about you. Please, don't hide and tell me everything."

Todoroki was always hard to read, from the way he can start with scolding him at work to the sudden open confessions. And when Izuku got a glimpse, he was filled with so much warmth all the negative things between them would fall away.

Todoroki was holding him like he was precious and Izuku didn't even know why he was falling so hard when he thought his conviction was strong enough to fight it. That being in bed with him would finally blow all those feelings away. He was an idiot.

So he vowed to keep it secret. That with every fiber of his being, the words from Todoroki could've been from him as well.

That no one in his entire life came close to affecting him the way Todoroki did.

He would never confess something so frustrating.

* * *

A/N: I always write to improve, so comments and critiques are welcome! Thank you for reading!


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